My Manicurist's Bruised Love Bite

I went for a manicure today, and my manicurist has a bruise on her upper arm that was clearly a circular set of teeth marks. "I guess there's a story behind that bruise," I said. If I knew then what I know now, I could have commented further on her Line of Jewels. Read on. She had spent last weekend at Ocean City where her group began drinking upon arrival at 2 p.m. Some time between then and 1 a.m., while at Kirby's Pub (some dive located at 9209 Coastal Highway), she received her bite, whether in the throes of passion or Puka Punch, we'll let Kirby's review tell us more:

"...the place is pretty dirty...anybody can go back into the kitchen so you don't know who cooks your food."


Coming home tonight, I started thinking about bite marks and how forensic criminologists use them in working a homicide. http://www.policensw.com/info/forensic/forensic5.html

The Kama Sutra also has something to say about it, so chew on this: The Kama Sutra dictates that if you can kiss it, you can bite it--with the exception of the upper lip, the inside of the mouth, and the eyes. The following is a list of bites described in the book:

• the hidden bite
• the swollen bite
• the point
• the lines of points
• the coral and the jewel
• the line of jewels
• the broken cloud
• the biting of the boar

When you bite your woman with your teeth, but the only thing you leave behind is a patch of redness rather than bite marks, this is the "hidden bite." When you press the skin down on both sides when you're doing the biting, it's called the "swollen bite." When you bite on a small part of her skin (or her yours) with two teeth, this is "the point," and when you bite portions of her skin with all of your teeth, of course that's called the "line of points."
When you bite your woman's body, but bring your lips and your front teeth together while doing so, that is the "coral and the jewel." Your lips represent the coral and your teeth are the jewel. And when you bite her with all of your teeth and your lips, this is the "line of jewels." When you use your mouth in it's entirety to bite your woman's breasts--causing the mark of an uneven circle--it is called a "broken cloud." And finally, when you constantly bite her in areas near each other, cause what looks like rows of marks on the breasts and shoulders, this is the "biting of the boar." These last two bites usually occur in moments of intense passion.

Funny the Kama Sutra should mention "biting of the boar." I just finished reading Animals in Translation: Using the Mysteries of Autism to Decode Animal Behavior by Temple Grandin, Ph.D. http://www.templegrandin.com/

Dr. Grandin suffers from autism herself, and she is currently an Associate Professor of Animal Science at Colorado State University. While reading the book, I learned that when female pigs mate, they stand still. Pig breeders have termed this behavior, "standing for the man." Sometimes, when engaged in artificial insemination, the pig breeder must either sit on top of the female pig, to simulate the weight of the male pig, or place a weight on their back. Also, male pigs, like many human males, develop fetishes while engaged in the sex act in terms of how they like to be handled or stimulated. I would provide you with some examples, but I'd prefer to let your imaginations loose at this point.