Friday, October 14, 2005

Co-inky Dink...Or Not?

I was on the computer last night, dropping comments around the D.C. blogger's pages, when a friend sent me an instant message. He had just returned from a bad date and wanted to know if he could talk through it with "his girls." His girls would be my friend Laura and myself. I rounded her up, and we went into a chat room to listen. I'll call him "George," since the woman he dated said he reminded her of a buffed up version of George Chakiris in West Side Story.

I should say that George definitely falls in my range of what I define as a "guy" guy. He does all the normal things you expect of a man, and there are no quirky little shadows. We were watching the Redskins game on Sunday, and he was yelling at the television during the game, something a "guy" guy does. He's the lucky owner of shared season tickets, so half of the time he's yelling at the Skins live, but on those off weeks, he makes do by yelling at the t.v. During the first quarter, Clinton Portis was getting yelled at a lot on blown plays. I kept hearing "Fuck you, Portis, you fucking suck." This went on until Portis finally did something right, then George said, "We love Portis." I added, "...for the moment." Another talent George possesses that I marvel at is that he can predict the next play before it happens. I told him on Sunday that I had fond memories of my father and brother yelling at the television during sports games. Laura said her brothers and father did the same. Someone needs to add that habit to their potential date's "pro's and con's" list. Last night, while we were waiting for Laura to join us, George told me "Fuck the tuck rule."

George was at a local watering hole. I asked him, "upscale, or dive." "Dive," he said. Sitting at the bar, to his left, was an elderly man. On his right was another guy, and to that guy's right were two women. The younger guy (not the geezer) was talking to the two women as George arrived. The man made a comment to George about a football game on the television above the bar, and when he got to talking to him, he realized he used to play against him at pickup football games. They swapped "how is so and so stories" for a bit. George said, "I wasn't really in the mood to talk...I was pissed that the bar was playing music during the game." "Communists," I said. He joined the group of the man and two women, and they wound up talking at the bar for three hours. He said, "She was definitely showing the signs: hand on arm, compliments, etc." At some point she asked him if he wanted to listen to someone who sounded like Alison Krauss. He said to us, "I was game, so the four of us headed back to her place, but before we left the bartender was giving her a hard time about picking me up." "Orgy time," Laura replied. Laura and I had to divert him at this point to ponder what kind of a woman would ask a man if he wants to listen to some chick who sounds like Alison Krauss. She did other weird things, as well, like played her saxophone for him. I I missing something?

We asked what she looked like, and George stated, "She had a young Liz Taylor-Lynda Carter thing going." I commented, "you mean like Black Irish: dark hair, blue eyes, fair complexion?" "EXACTLY!," he said. He went on to say that things were "pretty cool" at her house. He couldn't remember the name of the singer she was playing, but he wasn't too impressed. Regarding bar girl, I said, "Does she sit and scream "Fuck you Portis at her tel
evision? I think not." He laughed and said, "The evening ended nicely, and "No, I didn't close the deal." Laura said, "Good. We can't have you being slutty." Bar girl asked him to call her later, so when they finally talked, they decided to hook up yesterday and met again at the same watering hole. I'm guessing he was at something like the Grog and Tankard in Glover Park, but he didn't say. Laura and I went off on a tangent about football, and Laura pointed an arrow back to her screenname and typed, "guy guy." I said, "We are guy girls, Lau."

George went on with what he called "pertinent information." The girl had just broken up with her "artsy" boyfriend who had majored in theatre lighting. Laura said, "That's a hard major. I bet he pulled all nighters." I snorted.
He said, "Okay. Back to tonight...", but we couldn't let it go. "Can you imagine", I asked, "Theatre lighting is my major?" Laura shot back, "I'd think you'd learn everything there is to know about theatre lighting in three credits." "Two," I quipped, "with one credit for lab." George said, "I love my girls. Group hug." He pulled us back into the story by saying the girl had started pondering if his family would like her or not. This is what I mean about some of her weird ways: Alison Krauss, saxophone playing and "what would your family think of me?" On a first date?

George continued, despite our interruptions. "We're sitting in the bar and out of the blue, her old boyfriend walks in." I stopped him and asked, "Did she set you up for this for some jealousy thing? He just "happened" to walk in?" "Yes, Cubie," he said. "Stringy long hair, smoker's
face...I didn't consider him competition." "Not when you look like George Chakiris," I shot back. He went on. " about a buzz kill." I raised my hand. "Yes, child?", he asked. My question was, "Is this one of her regular watering holes where she and her ex-boyfriend hung out?" He said, "I didn't gather that." I replied, "Rotten in Denmark time." George observed how her demeanor was with him, so he went off to the bathroom, and when he got back he told her he was going to call it an evening. She walked him to the outside of the bar and as he put it, "handed me a line about wishing that it was the ex-boyfriend that was leaving." George simply said "good night" to her and left.

Laura asked, "Can you tell if a person is sincere or not? Do you have a gut feeling about this girl and what her motives were?" He said, "My gut right now is based on circumstances and her reaction, but my instinct is that I was being used, that it was too improbable to be a coincidence." Laura said, "Well...that's what a coincidence is: an improbable occurrence." We all laughed at that, but we agreed the odds were not in her favor on this one. She said to him, "You're probably not going to call me back, are you?" I told her to go fuck herself." Laura screamed, "GEORGE!" He said, "I felt like saying that, but I only said good night." We asked who chose their meeting place, and he told us she did. Laura told him that in the future he needed to pre-clear his dates with us, and he said, "It sure would have helped in this case." Laura said, "Even if this was co-inky dink (which none of us believe it was), I really think she is on a major rebound, which is not good news either." My take was that she set him up to make her "ex" jealous and try to get back with him. We wound things up. It was getting late. So. What do you think? Co-inky dink...or not?


Blogger cuff said...

She's trouble. Her conversation bits and behavior scream emotionally unstable. The whole ex-boyfriend showing up at the bar is also creepy -- odds are she and ex both frequent the place so she knew it'd only be a matter of time before they all met up (best spin) or she actually knew he'd be there that night (worst case). Either way, she's playing a game and I'm willing to bet she's too psychologically f'ed up to control that.

10:36 AM  
Blogger Kathryn Is So Over said...

you've been called out!

10:44 AM  
Blogger Washington Cube said...

I'm hundreds of miles away right now, Miss Kathryn, but I love that you put together happy hours and unite people.

10:47 AM  
Blogger Rhinestone Cowgirl said...

I would say NOT. Who the heck asks what his family would think of her on a first date? That's crazy talk.

As far as seeing an ex in the bar - eh, DC is a small town, and it's not impossible that you would run into an ex. But if I did, I sure wouldn't point him out to the new guy I was on a date with.

11:31 AM  
Blogger I-66 said...

She's a tad strange, red flags all over the place. Tell him to run. Far. Now.

12:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Now that is one bizarro chick. Asking him to come to her place to listen to music? Introducing him to her ex and sticking around after George leaves to talk to ex? This is peculiar and George should go to another bar. If he goes our with wacko-girl, he might wake up without a kidney.


2:33 PM  
Blogger Washington Cube said...

I can tell those of you who have written in that he has no intention of ever seeing/speaking to her again. When he sent me the instant message, he told me he had just returned from "the date from hell." I think the reason he sought us out was to reinforce what his instincts/mind was already telling him: that she was nothing but whack and trouble.

3:05 PM  
Blogger Phil said...

Did he ever consider she was crazy in a make-him-jealous-kind-of-way?

I mean, she's already talking about meeting his family on the first date - then she wheels in the ex-boyfriend, not to make that guy jealous, but to make him jealous. Trying to make George think "I better step this up to Committment Level if I want to keep the scraggly ex at bay". She seemed headed that way right away, if you take her actions at face value, and there are women out there who are kooky like that.

Doesn't change the outcome, but I would strongly consider this to be the a possibility.

4:12 PM  
Blogger Megarita said...

I think if I were on a date and an ex walked in I would nod to him and then get back to the date I was on. Anything else sounds sketchy. Crapola date, but I'm so going to throw that Alison Krauss line around from now on!

5:02 PM  
Blogger playfulinnc said...

I still can't get over the cheesiness of the saxaphone. I wonder what tune she played him, and I wish I could have seen his face as she was putting the damn thing together.

Artsy ex, stringy hair, smoker's face.

Hmm. Yep. I still say the sax is worse than the obvious ploy to make fresnel boy jealous.

7:32 PM  
Anonymous Lau lau said...

My final analysis of the situation is this: the girl is insecure. The "showing off" on the first date, the trying to make one or more men jealous (thus feeding her ego), the inappropriate references to meeting George's family... it all screams insecurity. Hopefully, she will learn that stunts like this do not do her any favors. And fortunately for our dear friend George, he wasn't too far into this before learning of her level of maturity.

8:13 PM  
Blogger Washington Cube said...

First of all, let me pick myself off the cyber floor after realizing that Laura is FINALLY commenting on my blog page...Missy! I agree. He's a wise one and didn't fall for it, but I think he was rattled last night after going through such a piece of weirdness. I'm still laughing at what Playful wrote about the saxophone. It is really too bizzare for words.

8:19 PM  
Blogger ThaiMex1 said...

To Grince...not only be missing a kidney but waking up in the bathtub packed in ice.

To George...OHMY ACHing BACK!!! I'm glad you're not going to see her again esp. if you happen to have a pet rabbit and stewing pots in the house. I believe that she's one "that will NOT be ignored"

8:43 PM  
Blogger cuff said...

I'm not sure "insecure" covers it. How about "ape shit loony emotional issues"?

12:41 AM  
Blogger ThaiMex1 said...

Mass? That about covers it. It must be a medical term which is why no one else thought of it.

7:31 AM  
Blogger JordanBaker said...

I used to think that girls who talk about family/committment/whatevah on an early date are some sort of urban myth designed to scare us into acting aloof and sane. But then I keep hearing about girls who actually do it. . .amazing.

12:50 PM  
Blogger Asian Mistress said...

Co-inky dink or not...there will be no skid-a-marink-a-dink-a-dink going on after this one!

7:36 PM  
Blogger Stef said...

Great story. I'm glad George is writing this one off, and now I'm just laughing imagining Amy Sedaris or someone playing off the whole "sax-and-ex" encounter as sketch comedy. :-)

11:10 PM  
Blogger Chairborne Stranger said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog, I must say yours in interesting as well. I've seen this weird cube floating around on DC blogs, and I guess it finally came to visit me.

For what it is worth (not much-like 2 cents) George got played as much as the sax did.

11:27 PM  
Blogger Johnny said...

possibly, but it was his duty to ravage that booty.

9:10 AM  
Blogger SAS said...

As a complete side note: I love that I found your site through the site of my LIGHTING DESIGNER friend, who went to the same school as I did and there earned a degree in lighting design while I earned a degree in theater directing.

Totally useless degrees, yes.

But we don't make fun of everyone with degrees in "Philosophy" or "Communications", so...

And you'd be surprised. Lighting Design really is an intricate and studied field.

But I completely agree, the saxophone was lame. I'm surprised she didn't play him some Tori Amos while she was at it.

1:06 PM  
Blogger Washington Cube said...


Even as I posted that, I knew I would hear back from someone with a degree in that field. I hope anyone reading my blog knows that it was a gentle poke more about the ex-boyfriend, than the study of lighting.

I'm a true believer in knowing about lighting sources, and I even have books on the subject, so you'll have to trust me when I say I think it's a worthy field. One book I highly recommend on the subject of lighting in the home is "Lighting Style" by Kevin McCloud. He presents the information in a technical, but practical/put to use means.

2:24 PM  
Anonymous drew said...

I dunno -- you guys might be a tad hypercritical of poor George's situation. I would be curious to know what George's intentions with this girl really were. Was this their first encounter? Did he want a "keeper" or a "disposable"? The whole thing reeked of bad behavior, but ... to use the earlier pun, if he knew he was going to be played as much as the saxophone, he could have at least drained the spit from the mouthpiece. (eg)

Wouldn't the game of musical chairs be a lost more realistic if each time the music started back up you whacked the chair leg with an axe? I feel like that chair sometimes....

5:04 PM  
Blogger DCLastCall said...

Let's not ignore the reference to Lynda Carter. Wonder woman was/is/will always be soooo hot.

Sax on the first date? Wow!


6:17 PM  
Blogger Jessica said...

Hmmm, Lynda Carter? Sounds interesting! :) Anyway, really she sounds like a lunatic. Poor George! Glad he survived it, and hope he'll land on both feet!

8:31 PM  
Blogger Sophiagrrl said...

The quirkiness (alison krause, sax and fmaily question) could all be things that DIDN'T wash with the ex... just rolling out the problems to make sure she was making a new mistake, not old ones. Definitely not healed from old relationship. If I were out on a first date, I'd avoid any place the old BF might go. DC is small, but not THAT small.

8:05 AM  
Blogger Dop said...

Man, that sucks like a Hoover. Some women are just too much with the head games. Guys dont play the psycho games, we're just dipshits sometimes.

1:26 PM  
Blogger mysterygirl! said...

I'm with Megarita-- if you run into an ex on a date, you say hello and then move on. No playing nicey-nice. Regardless of which one of the guys she was trying to manipulate, it seems like she was a bit shady one way or the other...

So everyone is saying that I shouldn't break out my instrument on first dates? There goes all my game...

6:40 PM  
Anonymous Wrethcat said...

Trash girl. Put her in the can and close the lid with a C clamp please :-)


7:48 PM  

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