Friday, September 28, 2007

This Is For The Kid Living With Shaniqua

"Shaniqua? It's for you."

Back in the day (1999), when I last purchased a cell phone, I thought I was doing the smart thing when I got the Samsung SCH a530. At that time, it was the smallest phone out there, and my thinking was "It won't weigh much, and I can carry it to clubs" and "ain't it cute." It was small all right. Texting was a bitch. Punching in the numbers was hard. Let's just say we never bonded. When I heard the iPhone was coming out, and knowing I was getting a Mac laptop to add to my stable of computers, I thought, "Well...sooner or later...iPhone." Syncopation to the synchronization. Some such nonsense. I finally got in gear and bought the iPhone last week. Yes. I read the blogs about AT& T and their dropped calls. I even had my tech hip doctor tell me he was holding off because of "AT&Tdroppedcallsdonchaknowthat'swhati'veread." Well. I had heard it, too, but so far :::knock on wood::::

The other night I was talking to my friend Drewcifer (nickname) about what my ringtone should be. My first thought was Low Rider by War. Maybe too many viewings of Gone in Sixty Seconds. I dunno. I thought about something with a fast riff, say The Ramones anything, and then another friend said "For you, it has to be Elvis Costello doing Watching the Detectives." That twangy guitar? That, or some James Bond theme music."

Sway: What do you think is more exciting , having sex or boosting cars?

Memphis: Having sex or boosting cars... Um, oo! Uh. How about having sex WHILE boosting cars?

The real star of Gone in Sixty Seconds: Eleanor

Drew and I were goofing, and he planted the poison in my head when he said, "You have got to use Shaniqua Don't Live Here No More by Little T and One-Track Mike. He threw the You Tube my way. I was hooked. I watched every You Tube version. We bandied about other songs... all to do with telephones: Witchita Lineman by Glen Campbell (which would be perfect for The Playaz (or Conway Twitty doing Hallelujah, I Just Love Her So), Blondie's Hanging on the Telephone, or their Call Me. The Marvelettes Beechwood 4-5789. Anyway. I couldn't get it out of my head the opening to this Rick James' song where a telephone rings, and a woman's voice asks "Is Rick James there?" The woman on the phone being "the other woman." Drew said, "Do you know when you google "Is Rick James there?" your blog pops up as a link?

Sure enough. Back in July of 2006, Megarita had written a piece about listening to songs on the car radio, and what the three top pop songs of all time might be. She had on her list Bruce Springsteen's I'm On Fire, and I wrote her back that equally good was his other song Fire, because he worked in cars, radios, kissing and fire. Then I went off about that stupid Rick James song, still in my head even then.

Last night I was reading Velvet's blog: back from Greece, goats and The Google. She wrote how she had learned she was #1 on the search for Greek Google and "Velvet," and I responded on her blog, telling her how I had turned up on Google in Mega's comment field under "Is Rick James there?" (....and come to think of it probably turning up on Google under Velvet's comment field as well for Rick James.)

Drew thought I could also use the Yip Yips Meet The Telephone, especially the brrrinnnggg brinnnnnggg part. His brother had somehow rigged up a copy that was on his phone. I told him "funny," but I'd go nutz listening to that. I still don't have a ringtone. That sexy guitar opening on Watching the Detectives is sounding better and better. Yo. Shaniqua? I love yew. Call me.

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Blogger dara said...

I go through ringtone phases. The current one is Poison's "Talk Dirty to Me." Just because.

I turn it off at work, though.

11:30 AM  
Blogger Velvet said...

Your return after the break makes me want to stand at the front door jump up and down and scream, "Cube's back! Cube's back!"

11:30 AM  
Blogger Washington Cube said...

Dara: I have friends with hysterically obscene ringtones, and they let them ring. I wish I could remember one that had me laughing for days, just at the sheer audacity of it.

Velvet: Sweetie. I haven't stopped reading your blog. You make MY day. That Greek goat picture? LOVE it. I want goats to be the new D.C. hip accessory. I think of you while at the gym, too: probably that compulsive working out stop staring at me thing. That means YOU, Greaseman. And yeah...I'm back.

11:36 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How about "Hey there" (from Pajama Game)?
I'm afraid I had to google the Shaniqua tune. Oh my. If that's your ringtone, you'll bring a smile to the folks around you.

-- grince

1:18 PM  
Blogger boo said...

howz about that funk type song that goes "Operator, this is an E-mergen-C. Operator, my baby's hangin' up on me" .I don't recall ther Band.

parlormint... or sumpin'

but it's very funky, really

1:48 PM  
Blogger Hammer said...

Cube's back?!

Oh man. That means I'm gonna start learning stuff from the internet again...

2:02 PM  
Anonymous Hedonistic Pleasureseeker said...


OMG flashbacks, I just had to post my two favorite Sesame Street clips because of this, lol

6:00 PM  
Blogger boo said...

that Shaniqua song is good..even without a melody and all

6:35 PM  
Blogger I-66 said...

Oh Cube. I pictured you not an iSheep. I'm a little saddened, actually.

That, however, is mitigated by the happiness I feel about your return. Welcome back. Stay awhile, yes?

8:42 PM  
Blogger Washington Cube said...

Grince? I was such a queer child I knew how to sing Hey There (the Rosemary Clooney version). ~~Hey with the stars in your's never made a fool of used to be so wise~~~ Well that and going around pretending I was Bette Davis in Jezebel....

Pres, I can't believe it's you here. I've dreamed about it so long. A lifetime... No, longer than that. I put on this white dress for you. To help me tell ya how humbly I ask you to forgive me.

Julie Marsden: Isn't it lovely!
Preston Dillard: Julie! It's red!
Julie Marsden: It's gorgeously red!
Preston Dillard: You can't wear red to the Olympus Ball!
Julie Marsden: Why not!
Preston Dillard: You never saw an unmarried girl in anything but white!
Julie Marsden: Well you're going to see one tomorrow night!

Or The Women...Oh! La Publicite...La Pub-Lic-Ci-TEH! Jungle RED!!!

Definitely strange. Is it getting dark in here? (Dark Victory).

10:46 PM  
Blogger Washington Cube said...

Boo? Midnight Star...and it's Baby's Burning Up On Me, but song.

Hammer? Pishaw. Fiddlesticks.

Kitty Cat Hedo: I saw, and thanks. My good friend Drew found that for me, but everyone else is telling me to go with something sexy.

66? I held off as long as I could. Look at how old my cell phone was that I replaced. Did I EVER go over to the Dolce Razr? No. And there are SOME bloggers...and I've read them, where they have already lost three or four iPhones, like a pack of gum, or destroyed them by dropping them...and then boo hoo'ing until they get a new one, the little shits. I take care of my things, for God's sake. And Sweetie? Absolutely to the sticking around.

10:52 PM  
Blogger Megarita said...

I have never gone down the ringtone road. I've only regretted it once: when I was in line somewhere and the guy behind got a call. His phone played the opening guitar madness from AC/DC "Thunderstruck." I'd put that on my phone in a heartbeat.

8:00 AM  
Blogger Brandi. said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

8:22 PM  
Blogger Momentary Academic said...

Now I've got that awesome song stuck in my head. I don't know how to do this ringtone thing. I'm a dinosaur when it comes to that stuff.

Yay Cube!

8:23 PM  
Anonymous John said...

Congrats on the new tech joy. I haven't had a stitch of trouble from my iphone.

4:41 AM  
Blogger Valley Girl said...

lol @ Shaniqua.

3:31 PM  
Blogger Reya Mellicker said...

OK, it's hard to beat Elvis Costello - EVER - but ... I Wanna Be Sedated by the Ramones is truly a great ringtone.

I'm with Velvet, btw, jumping up and down.

Y A Y !!!

8:09 PM  
Blogger WildbillthePirate said...

I will NEVER buy an Iphony! when I heard that Steve Jobs put up an innocous "software update" that turned anyone who modded their Iphony so they could use it in another network into a brick (unable to work on ANY network) I swore right then & there that Bill Gates was right to think of Jobs as a Scheme$%^ As*@#le!!!

2:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Cube honey, LTNS and all that. When I was in college, my theme song was The Pretenders "Precious", the perfect line in that song is "... not me baby, I'm too precious. So F$%& off!"

Use it, and think of me when your phone rings.

Dee Loralei

11:20 PM  

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