All I Want For Christmas Is: My Own Desktop Missile Deployment System

Malum discordiae

I finally decided to break down and treat myself to an iPod nano for a Cubie Christmas present. I had been prepared to buy an iPod Mini, and before I could decide which color to get (how girly, I know), Apple had come out with the nano. Then I was slowed down even further when I learned that if you ordered online through the Apple website, you could get two lines engraved onto the machine.

Carpe Diem !

I knew the first line would contain my name, but what to put on the second line? I was almost certain I wanted the second line to be in Latin, so I started going through phrases, putting aside lines that I found appealing:

Alis volat propiis -- She flies with her own wings.

Audere est facere -- To dare is to do.

Braccae tuae aperiuntur -- Your fly is open.

Draco dormiens nunquam titillandus -- Never tickle a sleeping dragon.

Fabricati diem -- Make my day.

Fac ut vivas -- Get a life.

Id est mihi, id non est tibi! -- It is mine, not yours!

Intellectum valde amat -- Love the intellect strongly.

Latine loqui coactus sum -- I have this compulsion to speak Latin.

Omnes una manet nox -- The same night awaits us all.

Ubi spiritus est cantus est -- Where there is spirit there is song.

Ad eundum quo nemo ante iit -- To boldly go where no man has gone before.

Cogito sumere potum alterum

While I pondered, there was controversy when a woman riding the Washington, D.C. Metro system had her iPod stolen off of her by a "gang of teenaged girls." The issue in the public mind surrounded the fact that Metro security wasn't effective in keeping people from being robbed and assaulted. Surprisingly enough, the girls were tracked down and the iPod recovered. I think the retrieval of the iPod threw a lot of people. Who would ever believe? One saving factor was...the woman had her name engraved on it.

I'm going to be a tease and not report on which phrase I chose. You figure it out. While I was cruising the net early this a.m. I found the perfect gift for the workplace: a desktop missile deployment system. I didn't check to see if it is offered in this country, but it is being sold by the British department store, Marks & Spencer: a USB toy with compressed-air darts, in a set of three, and Mac and PC compatible. Cube-ical warfare. You'll never know what hit you.