Thursday, December 08, 2005

All I Want For Christmas Is:
My Own Desktop Missile Deployment System

Malum discordiae

I finally decided to break down and treat myself to an iPod nano for a Cubie Christmas present. I had been prepared to buy an iPod Mini, and before I could decide which color to get (how girly, I know), Apple had come out with the nano. Then I was slowed down even further when I learned that if you ordered online through the Apple website, you could get two lines engraved onto the machine.

Carpe Diem !

I knew the first line wou
ld contain my name, but what to put on the second line? I was almost certain I wanted the second line to be in Latin, so I started going through phrases, putting aside lines that I found appealing:

Alis volat propiis -- She flies with her own wings.

Audere est facere -- To dare is to do.

Braccae tuae aperiuntur -- Your fly is open.

Draco dormiens nunquam titillandus -- Never tickle a sleeping dragon.

Fabricati diem -- Make my day.

Fac ut vivas -- Get a life.

Id est mihi, id non est tibi! -- It is mine, not yours!

Intellectum valde amat -- Love the intellect strongly.

Latine loqui coactus sum -- I have this compulsion to speak Latin.

Omnes una manet nox -- The same night awaits us all.

Ubi spiritus est cantus est -- Where there is spirit there is song.

Ad eundum quo nemo ante iit -- To boldly go where no man has gone before.

Cogito sumere potum alterum

While I pondered, there was controversy when a woman riding the Washington, D.C. Metro system had her iPod stolen off of her by a "gang of teenaged girls." The issue in the public mind surrounded the fact that Metro security wasn't effective in keeping people from being robbed and assaulted. Surprisingly enough, the girls were tracked down and the iPod recovered. I think the retrieval of the iPod threw a lot of people. Who would ever believe? One saving factor was...the woman had her name engraved on it.

I'm going to be a tease and not report on which phrase I chose. You figure it out. While I was cruising the net early this a.m. I found the perfect gift for the workplace: a desktop missile deployment system. I didn't check to see if it is offered in this country, but it is being sold by the British department store, Marks & Spencer: a USB toy with compressed-air darts, in a set of three, and Mac and PC compatible. Cube-ical warfare. You'll never know what hit you.


Anonymous Mataz said...

My personal favorite: "semper ubi sub ubi." I am forever grateful to four years of high school Latin if only because they've allowed me to fully appreciate the hilarity of that four word phrase.

8:55 AM  
Blogger Washington Cube said...

"Always wear underwear." Good one.

8:59 AM  
Blogger Phil said...

iustus lascivio music, asscornicus - "Just play the music, asscorn."

9:30 AM  
Blogger Hammer said...

Pretty damn cool, but my missiles are bigger.

9:46 AM  
Blogger I-66 said...

I love that you called the ipod a Cubie Christmas present.

Have a very Cubie Christmas, everyone.

9:50 AM  
Anonymous drew said...

Ummm... did phil just say "asscorn"?

I am riddled with the urge to ask which one you chose, but I know you won't -- so I won't bother to do anything but share with your readers that I share their desire to know. *pfft*

By the way, the missles are cool, but can you outdo the new remake of the classic "Furby"? Introducing Furby2005 - now with voice recognition and a bunch of other stuff to make that little beaked demon even more frightening to impressionable children and enlightened adults. URL:

9:54 AM  
Blogger Washington Cube said...

Phil: Did Romans eat corn? 0:)

Travis: *perk*

I-66: Thanks, and after your post yesterday about a gift for your sister, I'm getting several of my friends some i-tune cards.

Drew: I thought you'd be guessing by now. Also, Drew has sent me a URL for some other great geek toys:

10:04 AM  
Blogger playfulinnc said...

My mother always said that men love a mysterious woman...but, alas, I did not inherit that trait.

Cube, for my Cubie Christmas present, will you teach me how to be mysterious??

10:29 AM  
Blogger Phil said...

It's my patented catchphrase, Drew.

I coined the term on DC Cookie's blog several months back, and it has become a common saying in the english language.

11:23 AM  
Blogger Megarita said...

You are way way cool, Cube. I Love Latin. I am bad at said Latin, but I love it. I think I'll engrave, too, when I get the replacement for the MegPod That Was. Sigh.

11:40 AM  
Blogger always write said...

"Kush meer in tuchas" -- that's Yiddish for "Kiss my ass."

Enjoy your toy!

11:40 AM  
Anonymous drew said...

For those of you with tongue-in-cheek French backgrounds, I love the way "mange merde et morte" just rolls off the tongue. It sounds so... romantic!

The French won't know what you're talking about, but ... some of us will giggle uncontrolably.

If you need help:

11:52 AM  
Blogger cuff said...

Ah if only an iPod were in my xmas future...please tell me you had it engraved with either "Sic semper tyrannus" or "veni, vedi, veci." Now I've exhausted my Latin phrases outside of citation references and medical names.

12:24 PM  
Blogger Siryn said...

I like "Ubi spiritus est cantus est -- Where there is spirit there is song." Yeah, I'm a big cheeseball sometimes, I know.

10:04 PM  
Blogger Benedick said...

I throw my vote in for "Carpe Canum". Seize the dog!

Although, "asscorn" just by itself is pretty f-ing funny. What's latin for "asshat?"

Great post, as always!

12:33 AM  
Blogger Asian Mistress said...

Asscorn is a blogging world staple.

Cubie I want an ipod too!

A pink one.


God I'm a loser.

11:26 AM  
Blogger Momentary Academic said...

Yes! That place is right near my parent's house. I love the Channukah lights! Awesome.

10:24 AM  

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