Guest Blogger: My Brother
Football Funnies
I thought I'd post some e-mail humor that my brother just sent me. He recently learned that his sister is blogging, and I'm hoping to have his help again down the road with my art projects. When I was a little girl, I have fond memories of following my brother and his friends in the neighborhood to watch their pickup games. He was a good big brother and never told me to get lost, so I'm posting this for him:
College Football
What does the average University of Michigan player get on his SAT's?
Drool.
What do you get when you put 32 West Virginia cheerleaders in one room?
A full set of teeth.
How do you get a Wisconsin cheerleader into your dorm room?
Grease her hips and push.
Go Satan!
How do you get an Ohio State graduate off your porch?
Pay him for the pizza.
How do you know if an Alabama football player has a girlfriend?
There is tobacco spit on both sides of his pickup.
Why is the Kentucky football team like a possum?
Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.
What are the longest three years of a Miami, Florida football player's life?
His freshman year.
How many Purdue freshman does it take to change a light bulb?
None. That's a sophmore course.
Where was O.J. Simpson headed in the White Bronco?
Durham, North Carolina. He knew the police would never look at Duke for a Heisman Trophy winner.
And finally...
Why did Tennessee choose orange as their team color?
You can wear it to the game on Saturday, hunting on Sunday, and picking up trash along the highways the rest of the week.
What does the average University of Michigan player get on his SAT's?
Drool.
What do you get when you put 32 West Virginia cheerleaders in one room?
A full set of teeth.
How do you get a Wisconsin cheerleader into your dorm room?
Grease her hips and push.
Go Satan!How do you get an Ohio State graduate off your porch?
Pay him for the pizza.
How do you know if an Alabama football player has a girlfriend?
There is tobacco spit on both sides of his pickup.
Why is the Kentucky football team like a possum?
Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.
What are the longest three years of a Miami, Florida football player's life?
His freshman year.
How many Purdue freshman does it take to change a light bulb?
None. That's a sophmore course.
Where was O.J. Simpson headed in the White Bronco?
Durham, North Carolina. He knew the police would never look at Duke for a Heisman Trophy winner.
And finally...
Why did Tennessee choose orange as their team color?
You can wear it to the game on Saturday, hunting on Sunday, and picking up trash along the highways the rest of the week.
posted by Washington Cube at 11:03 PM
12 Comments:
nice blog.thanks
Go fighting Blue Hens! Football humor just in time for Thanksgiving mind-numbing wall to wall televised football.
grince
Hilarious! Glad to see my Nittany Lions did not make the list.
ditto for the Terps.
man, I needed a laugh today, and you totally delivered.
Cube, were you keeping your blog secret from your family?
Always: Cheer up. It can only get worse. ;)
Smash: I absolutely have kept knowledge of my blog from my family and the bulk of my friends, but I am loosening up on it. My brother had such enthusiasm and nice things to say, I realize I was foolish. I also have a group of friends who do know about the blog. Some have been guest bloggers and participated with postings of their own. Some have shown indifference. So it goes.
Loooooove the TEnnessee mockery. YOu missed Woof U and the Terps. And for that I am grateful
Oh, below the belt on Tennessee. Come on, you couldn't have made fun of 'bama or Auburn.
That orange 151 grows on you after 20 years.
YEAH! Miami jokes = kick ass!
Signed Kris, Seminole fan
West Virginia is ripe for the picking whether it is football, or the third cousin who coincidentally is the third cousin on both sides of the family :-)
>^, ,^<
Is there any way you can introduce me to that goth cheerleader? :-)
Great jokes. I'll definitely use the SAT one on some friends.
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