Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Whine And Dine

British novelist Kingsley Amis once wrote, "A German wine label is one of the things life's too short for, a daunting testimony to that peculiar nation's love of detail and organization." I guess Australians are more to the point. Two friends popped into Chat's Liquors (503 8th Street, S.E.) at Barracks Row on Capitol Hill and found this Australian vino: Bitch Wine. Perfect for whining while dining.

You can't see this clearly (maybe if you click to enlarge the photo,) but the back label says "bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, and then just before The Grateful Palate label, it ends "and bitch some more."

"This wine has a strong head, sharp tongue,
teasing bouquet with an acrid aftertaste."

"I've got this great bar trick. No. Wait...it's really good.
Barkeep? A glass of water if you please."


Blogger Phil said...

2 posts in a week? My head is spinning!!

9:21 AM  
Blogger Washington Cube said...

Phil: Super hugs.

9:39 AM  
Anonymous drew said...

I was compelled to try some of this "Bitch", and then realized that I've already had quite my fill for some time, thankyouverymuch.

9:39 AM  
Blogger Washington Cube said...

Drew: I just KNOW you don't mean me. By the way, it was wonderful Drew who found me the Jesus picture I'm using in this blog entry.

9:43 AM  
Blogger The Absurdist said...

Would a man be making a serious mistake to buy a bottle of this wine to split with his girlfriend over dinner?

10:21 AM  
Blogger cuff said...

So glad you're back! I was out of town for the hot rods posting, so now I have to go back to it.

It's always a pleasure to read your posts.

11:23 AM  
Blogger Megan said...

I think the makers might have been inspired by me the last week.

(So good to have you back Cube.)

12:23 PM  
Blogger Washington Cube said...

Absurdist: I've seen more wines with these...dare I say it...absurd names, that I am sure have some niche in the novelty market. We'll have to wait for T & K who bought the wine to post here and let us know how it tastes, or if they gave bottles to their friends. I know I didn't get one from them, but then I'm not a .... :)

Cuff: I've been following your travels on your own blog. Excellent writing, per usual. Ho hum. ;)

Megan: I directed two more friends over to your blog today. I would recommend her blog to everyone. She's done a bang-up job on covering her recent travels in California with lots of good pictures. I am sure Megan is already well known to most of you, but a little plug can't hurt.

You can find Megan at:

1:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The wine is a very big red; there is something a little "dusty" in its aftertaste. I'll have to try it with some smoky cheese.

Yes, several office mates have requested bottles, and yes, they want to give them to friends. Obviously, they know these friends well. Or they hate their guts.

I love the pink label, it reminds me of a 1950's color palatte. It also strikes me as being Barbie-ish (the doll, not the Nazi). I mean the original Barbie with the fierce look (I had the second generation, not the first model). Barbie's heavy-lidded glare will go well with this fat wine. I'll consult Barbie tonight.


2:10 PM  
Blogger Jesus said...

I also have the one where I can pull the cork out from the inside of the bottle with a napkin.

3:42 PM  
Blogger Washington Cube said...

Grince: Thanks for adding to the story, since it's your bottle.

Jesus: You're one of the PLAYAZ??? I didn't know. But it figures, doesn't it?

5:56 PM  
Blogger ThaiMex1 said...

I'll have to hunker down and get a taste of the wine. I'm not a wine drinker so I'll set the mood by playing Elton John's Carabou album that features "The Bitch Is Back"

6:58 PM  
Blogger Raincouver said...

Jesus got some skillz!

(love the caption on the trick thing)

7:03 PM  
Blogger Washington Cube said...

Thai: Thank you again for supplying this blog entry with your purchase.

Raincouver: Thanks. Sometimes I have as much fun writing up the photo captions as I do writing the piece.

7:40 PM  
Blogger KOB said...

Imagine handing out these bottles at an office party. It's all fun until someone's cork pops.

9:26 PM  
Blogger Megan said...

Cube, you are very kind. Thanks for your lovely words (and the plug!).

2:38 AM  
Blogger Stef said...

Ah, Chat's. I used to work right across the street. Trust me, you never know what you're gonna find on 8th St.

So do you think the natural companion to "Bitch" would be "Fat Bastard" ?

7:11 AM  
Blogger Satan said...

Me too...

8:51 AM  
Blogger Reya Mellicker said...

If you're already a really talented bitch and whiner, then will this wine have a homeopathic effect, or make you even worse? My roommate is about to open a card store ("GroovyDC") right across the street from this liquor store, and since he's three weeks away from opening, he is the Grouch with the Mostess, as you can imagine! What do you think? Is this the right prescription?

9:25 AM  
Blogger Natalie@theliquidmuse.com said...

O-m-g!!! I love this 'bitch' wine. Very cool. I am only envious I didn't "discover"it first ;-)

11:14 AM  
Blogger playfulinnc said...

My brain interpreted the first words of your post as: Bitchish novelist.

You go for Bitch; I'll stay with Fat Bastard.

2:24 PM  
Blogger Rachel said...

I am soooo going there this weekend!

3:42 PM  
Blogger Washington Cube said...

KOB: If they were drinking a wine at an office party, the wine Money Grubbing Bastards would be better put on the table.

Megan: Your blog is like a little jewel. Easy praise.

Stef: Absolutely, or something like it (see response to KOB.)

Satan: Look what I found:

Reya: No. Starting up a new business is problems enough and God bless them for taking on the endeavor. We all need to go to see this new shop of Reya's friend called (again): GroovyDC.

Natalie: I cannot take credit for this. My friends Tony and Kathy found this wine and they deserve all the kuddos.

Playful: I so want that to be a new category of literature:
"Bitchish" writing.

Rachel: If you do, let Chat's know they've been mentioned on a blog. Let's support our local booze stores, folks.

3:46 PM  
Blogger Momentary Academic said...

I need a glass of that stuff. Woohoo Cube! Keep writing!

5:01 PM  
Blogger Megarita said...

Fantastic. I found a great red wine in Sonoma called Poison that I promptly sent to all my colleagues. Tra la la...

8:23 PM  
Blogger Washington Cube said...

MA: feeling the love

and Mega--so you drink both and you're a poisonous bitch? Now who can we buy THAT for?

9:40 PM  
Blogger Malnurtured Snay said...

I love wine bottles with crazy labels. Recently, I gave a friend a bottle of "CAB" -- the design on the bottle was that of a yellow taxi. I thought it was cute -- "The bottle reminds you not to drive, see? See?" But then someone was like, "Who drinks wine at home then goes to drive somewhere?"

12:52 AM  
Blogger Satan said...

Weird - that kook accuses Ham of molesting his father (Noah). I can tell you that's not true, as he's standing right here, burning in Hades for all eternity.

9:29 AM  
Blogger Johnny said...

are you going to pop that bitch's cork?

:p :D

10:01 AM  
Blogger Washington Cube said...

Mal: Another friend recently brought to my attention that the Marines have their own wine called Jarhead Red. Everyone's doing it. I may need to create a Cube wine...in a box, of course.

Satan: I know you can back that up, so I'm not doubting you.

Johnny: I'll leave that to you, once you stop viewing that Paris Hilton video.

10:18 AM  
Blogger Dezel said...

Shock and pink are in this year so the clever Australians are taking advantage of prime opportunity. There are consumers that purchase wine according to the animal on the label, so this is taking it one step further.

With a reasonable price (less than $12), and an alluring bottle and name, the Aussies are on the right track to winning over the curious and those drawn to surprise or shock.

This might be the Jerry Springer of wine!

In all seriousness outside of the flashy name I think it’s a good buy for you will find inside.

Happy Sipping!


1:12 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi there,

That was a very interesting post! A while back I started brewing my own wine, I have really started getting into it and now actually sell my wine to friends and family. I wanted to add that extra touch to my wine so I designed my own wine labels and had them printed by a british labels company who did a excellent job. It has made my wine bottle look really great!

7:29 AM  

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