Sarah Palin And Jacques Pacque Sixe

"A nod's as good as a wink...to a blind bat. Nudge. Nudge."

I was scanning gossip blogs and stumbled on a piece that said Sarah Palin wished to appear on Saturday Night Live, mimicking Tina Fey who was mimicking her. I find Palin an odd creature of ambition and desire veneered with poutine. There are so many reasons why I would not vote for this woman, even down to the fact that she drops her "g's." I shudder thinking of her on the world stage saying "Prime Minister Poutine (Putin) ....Ay kin see yer house."

I have a very sophisticated friend in San Francisco, and the night of the Vice-Presidential debate, I asked her if she was watching, and she replied, "You betcha," which has become a catch phrase in describing Palin. Palin seems insistent on playing to the average American Joe Six -Pack, but my friend said, "Wouldn't you be insulted if that was you she was talking about-- as your furniture is being carried out by the Sheriff's office?" I told her I was driving in a Maryland suburb on Saturday and saw a white haired grandmother sitting by the curb with her furniture. It was heartbreaking.

"I think we need a little bit of reality from Wasilla Main Street"

There is the weird dichotomy about Palin. She presents herself as one of the "people," but she doesn't see herself (in her designer glasses) as one of the people, and yet she is one of the people. My San Francisco friend said to me that night, "Do you know one person with a knocked up teenager?" "Do you have one friend who hangs around his wife's office and gives orders?" (since Palin repeatedly says she's one of us.) I think I'd be happier with her if she had sharpened fangs, exposed like an Alaskan carnivore, ripping at flesh and enjoying the kill, staring over a rib cage with threatening eyes if you dare approach the prize.

Another friend and I were talking about all of this today, including the proposed SNL skit, and how this would be one more layer of unreality on top of an already bizzare campaign, and for some reason an old George Jones and Tammy Wynette song popped into my head, and I started singing,


"No we're not the jet set
We're the old Chevrolet set
There's no Riviera
In Festus, Missouri

And you won't find Onnasis
In Mullinville, Kansas
No, we're not the jet set
We're the old Chevrolet set
But ain't we got love?

No we're not the jet set
We're the old Chevrolet set
Our steak and martinis
Is draft beer and weinies

Our Bach and Tschaikowsky
Is Haggard and Husky
No we're not the jet set
We're the old Chevrolet set
But ain't we got love? "






Back in the day, country singer Conway Twitty turned himself into a theme park and built "Twitty City" at his home. I had this vision of tourists going through his house, and Conway saying, "Well y'all can buy that and that there, but not that. I wanna keep that." I suppose if Palin is elected, she could open up Number One Observatory Circle, so we could all go in and hold her babies while she's off to Paris, France (not Tennessee) and admire the moose heads and seal skins and buy You Betcha Beer Huggies.

Joe Six-Pack Makes Himself At Home at Number One Observatory Circle

-- thinking Washington is purdy darn fancy and maybe he should be Jacques Pacque Sixe