Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Sarah Palin And Jacques Pacque Sixe


"A nod's as good as a wink...to a blind bat. Nudge. Nudge."

I was scanning gossip blogs and stumbled on a piece that said Sarah Palin wished to appear on Saturday Night Live, mimicking Tina Fey who was mimicking her. I find Palin an odd creature of ambition and desire veneered with poutine. There are so many reasons why I would not vote for this woman, even down to the fact that she drops her "g's." I shudder thinking of her on the world stage saying "Prime Minister Poutine (Putin) ....Ay kin see yer house."

I have a very sophisticated friend in San Francisco, and the night of the Vice-Presidential debate, I asked her if she was watching, and she replied, "You betcha," which has become a catch phrase in describing Palin. Palin seems insistent on playing to the average American Joe Six -Pack, but my friend said, "Wouldn't you be insulted if that was you she was talking about-- as your furniture is being carried out by the Sheriff's office?" I told her I was driving in a Maryland suburb on Saturday and saw a white haired grandmother sitting by the curb with her furniture. It was heartbreaking.



"I think we need a little bit of reality from Wasilla Main Street"

There is the weird dichotomy about Palin. She presents herself as one of the "people," but she doesn't see herself (in her designer glasses) as one of the people, and yet she is one of the people. My San Francisco friend said to me that night, "Do you know one person with a knocked up teenager?" "Do you have one friend who hangs around his wife's office and gives orders?" (since Palin repeatedly says she's one of us.) I think I'd be happier with her if she had sharpened fangs, exposed like an Alaskan carnivore, ripping at flesh and enjoying the kill, staring over a rib cage with threatening eyes if you dare approach the prize.

Another friend and I were talking about all of this today, including the proposed SNL skit, and how this would be one more layer of unreality on top of an already bizzare campaign, and for some reason an old George Jones and Tammy Wynette song popped into my head, and I started singing,


"No we're not the jet set
We're the old Chevrolet set
There's no Riviera
In Festus, Missouri

And you won't find Onnasis
In Mullinville, Kansas
No, we're not the jet set
We're the old Chevrolet set
But ain't we got love?

No we're not the jet set
We're the old Chevrolet set
Our steak and martinis
Is draft beer and weinies

Our Bach and Tschaikowsky
Is Haggard and Husky
No we're not the jet set
We're the old Chevrolet set
But ain't we got love? "






Back in the day, country singer Conway Twitty turned himself into a theme park and built "Twitty City" at his home. I had this vision of tourists going through his house, and Conway saying, "Well y'all can buy that and that there, but not that. I wanna keep that." I suppose if Palin is elected, she could open up Number One Observatory Circle, so we could all go in and hold her babies while she's off to Paris, France (not Tennessee) and admire the moose heads and seal skins and buy You Betcha Beer Huggies.

Joe Six-Pack Makes Himself At Home at Number One Observatory Circle

-- thinking Washington is purdy darn fancy and maybe he should be Jacques Pacque Sixe

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28 Comments:

Blogger Phil said...

You have said nothing to dissuade me from hoping she becomes our next VP.

12:59 PM  
Blogger Washington Cube said...

I do hope you are joking, Phil.

1:10 PM  
Blogger I-66 said...

But when she winks, it's like she's winking at me.



Kidding. You know that. I'm just glad you're writing again, Cube.

1:32 PM  
Blogger Washington Cube said...

66'er: YOU I know are joking. Phil hitting that Comet Dust, and you just never know....and thank you about the writing. This has not been a grand year.

1:40 PM  
Blogger cuff said...

Beautiful commentary. I couldn't believe it when she dropped the line during the debate that she was one of the people on Main Street. No...you're the Governor of Alaska. You run a state, even if it has almost no population and most of it is frozen. You're about as Main Street as Joe Biden, who may be from Scranton but you won't catch him rusting away there.

She's just hoping Joe Sixpack uses his beer goggles when judging the Republican ticket.

1:40 PM  
Blogger Washington Cube said...

Cuff: It's nice to see you. I've been reading your blog, even though not writing on my own. This wasn't particularly well written, like your biting commentaries, but more.... friends casually having a giggle over the bizarre ritual of politics. My friend Lisa, that I cite, said to me, "Do you identify with her on any level?" and the answer was "no." For me, the bottom line is, should McCain be elected (and what a family THAT is...him dumping his first wife and getting a marriage certificate for Cindy while still married...and Cindy....never giving her father's first children any of the inheritance)...but back to McCain being elected. Should something happen to him, and Palin becomes President? Shaking head. And yet, I never thought I'd see the day Richard Nixon became President, nor Ronald Reagan, nor the two W's or any of them.

I read last night that Marilyn Monroe always married articulate men that looked like Abraham Lincoln. Just thought I'd throw that out there.

2:12 PM  
Blogger cuff said...

How does Joe DiMaggio fit into that Marilyn Monroe equation?

2:43 PM  
Blogger Washington Cube said...

Cuff: Dark and rugged? I wondered about that myself. Well...he "was" spokesman for Mr. Coffee. :)

3:44 PM  
Blogger Johnny DC said...

You're such a maverick, Cube!

:P

(drink!)

4:09 PM  
Blogger Washington Cube said...

Johnny!!!! I am honored.

Maverick, indeed. (drink)

4:20 PM  
Blogger Hammer said...

Well, as long as we're throwin' down the music reference gauntlet in these parts...

While you'll never hear an unkind word from me regarding George & Tammy, I for one prefer Roger Miller's centrist stance.

4:40 PM  
Anonymous ma said...

That was just perfect.

I just don't understand how so many people can love her.

7:32 PM  
Blogger kob said...

I hope Palin wins. We need her. Bloggers need her. Imagine trying to write about Biden.

Regards,

Joe-detox

7:51 PM  
Blogger Washington Cube said...

Hammer: I can always count on your for cool music references.

MA: A female blogging voice heard from! She's self promoting. I can see her no other way. I can't stand her voice. I have no interest in what she has to say.

Patrick: Have you been hitting the Moose Malt?

10:57 PM  
Blogger Cyndy said...

She strikes me as an over-achiever, relative to what she seems to have to offer. I can't stand her accent. I asked my brother and sister-in-law if they noticed any locals with that accent during the four years that they were in Alaska and they said they didn't recall people talking that way. It sounds like more of an affectation than an accent to me.

Even my mother, the staunch Republican, doesn't seem to care for her much. I'll bet for my mother and many from her generation, the knocked-up teenaged daughter is a huge issue in terms of Palin being any kind of admirable role model as a mother. I suspect she's worried that Palin is going to ruin her boy McCain's chances of winning. That would be okay with me because, among other things, I wouldn't have to keep hearing that voice and all of those inane colloquialisms past November. I think she's a big faker.

1:28 AM  
Blogger Washington Cube said...

Cyndy: Agreed. Miss Runner-Up. I half expected her to twirl lit batons during the debate.

I am all for women having careers, being mothers, etc. but I think you have to look at her, taking on this very important and powerful position where there are long days and much travel and she has a Downs baby and a knocked up teen? Many are asking who will mother the children. I've known Alaskans as well and never heard anything like her voice. The closest I can place it is Minnesota and that border of Canada. Think of the movie "Fargo."

Tell your mother I wouldn't vote for McCain because you can't see his upper teeth when he speaks plus he filed for a marriage certificate for Wifie #2 when he was still married to Wife #1, and if there's ever a "I think we're getting a divorce moment," that would do it.

P.S. Wife #2 inherited the bulk of her father's estate. Daddy also had a Wife #1 and children, yet left them nothing. Tell Mrs. McCain to honor her half sisters inheritance and do the right thing.

The entire Republican ticket reads like Tobacco Road.

2:39 AM  
Blogger Kate said...

I commend this to you:

From Debbie Ford, Blogger


"October 6, 2008, Issue 11
Is She a Hometown Girl or a Seductress?

After my first and only political Shadow Blog, I received more mail from my readers than I've received in my entire career. Thank you for your overwhelming response. Obviously, my message gave voice to what many of you were already feeling. I apologize once again to those of you I've offended. (If you were offended by the last one, don't be a masochist. Close this one now as you're certainly going to be offended by this one as well.) Even at the risk of losing more of my readers, I feel compelled to continue to share my views on the upcoming election because we've got one of the best shadow figures -- literally -- that we've seen in a long time. And being a shadow lover, I just can't p ass it up. We're all very lucky that this election gives us an unprecedented opportunity to see the shadow in all its disguises and all its glory. I would be remiss to ignore it.

This week, like most of you, I sat glued to my TV watching the Vice Presidential debate. Within three minutes and after the first wink, I became fascinated once again with Sarah Palin. I asked myself, "What is the deal with this woman? Why is she winking at me? Is she flirting with me?" I had to take a deep breath because I noticed this queasy feeling growing in the pit of my stomach.

Then it flashed before me. I recognized her. I had met her before, in many forms, and here she was again. All of the sudden, it dawned on me that the reason I was having this reaction is because Sarah Palin is the living expression of The Seductress, one of the 20 masks, the faces of the wounded ego, that I outline in my latest book. Of course I felt disturbed -- she was working me right through my HDTV!

In Why Good People Do Bad Things, I suggest that those who don the mask of The Seductress are after one thing and one thing only: to make themselves feel better about who they are by getting whatever they might be after. Birthed out of the fear that they are not good enough, loved enough, or smart enough, they search until they find suitable targets to trap in their energetic webs -- in the case of Sarah Palin, first the citizens of the great state of Alaska and now the entire country.

I consider The Seductress a predator because her main goal is to feed on the self-esteem of others in order to soothe her own emotional wounds. The Seductress literally throws out an energetic hook by being kind, loving, interested, sexual and, in this case, folksy -- luring her victims closer, all the while planning her next move. She spends her time thinking about how she looks, how others will perceive her, how she can win, and how she can get more of what she's after. The Seductress' "catch" enhances her inner perception of herself and covers, at least for the moment, the enormous pain and self-loathing that are stored in her psyche.

In my book, "dangerous, poisonous, and venomous" are the qualities I use to describe The Seductress because her main attack is disguised in love and, in this instance, service. Her signal broadcasts in all directions, sometimes loudly and at other times as a soft whisper: "I will give you some love and take care of you if you give me your power. I am going to make you feel better about yourself if you give me some control. I am going to tell you everything you ever wanted to hear if you just make me the next Vice President of the United States of America ."

Can we as a nation afford to fall under the spell of Sarah Palin and give her what she wants? I would suggest that the cost is too high for all of us. No amount of twisting ("Oh Joe you're going backwards again," she croons) will be able to distract us from who she is, what she believes, what she's really after, and what it would cost us if she and McCain are elected. This is not a beauty or a personality contest. This is not a time to pick someone because of their smile, their style, their charisma, their down-home cloak, or their biting tongue. Instead, this is a time to dissect who Sarah Palin is -- her views, her experience (or in this case her inexperience), and how she lives her life. She will, if elected the next Vice President, be a role model for our daughters, sons and future generations. We must look at her carefully, behind her smiling, cute, winking persona. We must take off her very hip glasses (not her clothes, gentlemen!) to see what's hidden there. We mu st ask ourselves, "Does this woman have the ability to govern the greatest nation in the world?"

Although many will argue that we must stop focusing on Palin, it's vital that we take a closer look because she is a microcosm of the narrow, outdated views of the Republican Party. I'm not even going to talk about her choice to drag her four-month-old special needs child around the country to big events to prove that she's a good mother except to ask if she had a healthy baby, would she be dragging it around all night? You do have to wonder since most of us mothers know that their child shouldn't be in big public places with tens of thousands of people at 10:00 at night.

Instead, let's look at her choice to use her sexuality to lure innocent voters and hearts into her web. Rather than choosing to reflect the brilliance, the smarts, the power, or the merit she must obviously possess (even if hidden from view from some of us), she winks and flirts, reinforcing all the things for which women are mocked and not taken seriously in the political arena. Can you even imagine powerful female leaders like Indira Gandhi, Golda Meir, or Margaret Thatcher winking at an audience? Here's what I'd like to say to Sarah Palin right now, from one pretty woman to another: Stop it! I know you want to take away our right to choose but do you really have to minimize our equality just to get votes? (And for those who of you who are now mad at me and projecting on me, for the record, I have never winked at an audience, although maybe I should try it since she's getting 15,000 people at her events.)

The choice of Sarah Palin as a running mate tells us loud and clear what kind of man "the maverick" John McCain is. Is he someone who diligently seeks to find the best person to take his place in the unfortunate circumstance of his death? Is he the kind of man that surrounds himself with brilliant thinkers of tomorrow who promise to take us out of the dark age of war, hate, and economic disaster? Or is he the kind of hungry politician who would sell his and his nation's soul just to win? We should all take a big exhale because John McCain's shadow has been exposed. He has proven not to be the hero of our time but instead an egocentric opportunist in search of the ultimate power. In one of the most important decisions of his political career, he picked an inexperienced woman because he believed that she could help him win over the Hillary Clinton voters. We all know this. Does he really think American women are that stupid? That we can't see the motives behind this irresp onsible choice?

And on a final note, if you're not convinced that she would not be the best choice, Sarah Palin told us all loud and clear Thursday night, looking straight into the camera, that the only thing that matters is that we win this war. Not that we bring our troops home safely. Not that we heal the hatred that permeates our world. She didn't speak of justice, fairness or the good of all people. Because she is a good Seductress, all she wants is to win.

My friends, we must join together to pull off the blinders for those who are sucked into the trance of this now very famous and potentially very dangerous Seductress. If you're not registered to vote, register today and make it your duty to find just one unregistered person to invite into this most important election.

With love, respect, and blessings,

Copyright 2008, Debbie Ford. All rights reserved. P.O. Box 8064 San Diego , CA 92037 (800) 655-4016"

10:16 AM  
Blogger Phil said...

We're talking about the executive post that does nothing, right?

10:24 AM  
Blogger Washington Cube said...

Kate: You've left the ultimate summation. I've seen this in Palin from the beginning, but no one seemingly wants to voice it. A lot of people I'm around say "Who could take this woman seriously?" but I remind them we reside in a highly liberal environment, and there is the big ole U.S. of A. out there just dyin' to put these two in office. Who would ever believe that opposable thumbs President we have now would have made it this far? When she kept looking right into the television lens and not her opponent, it said volumes. When she poorly (and arrogantly) deflected the questions given her, it said volumes. It's obvious she's using her children, and that begs the question what kind of woman would do that? I'm surprised she hasn't started dropping the "f" bomb, for all her diner and trucker and Joe Six-Pack friends out there...followed with a spit of snuff. The woman will do anything. I won't go on. You can see where I stand on this.

And Phil? Yeah.....Number One Observatory Circle?...ANIMAL HOUSE!!!! :::spewing mashed potatoes::::

1:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

They say to have her hair done Liz flies all the way to France
And Jackie's seen in a discotheque doin' a brand new dance
And the White House social season should be glittering and gay
But here in Topeka the rain is a fallin'
The faucet is a drippin' and the kids are a bawlin'
One of them a toddlin' and one is a crawlin' and one's on the way
I'm glad that Raquel Welch just signed a million dollar pact
And Debbie's out in Vegas workin' up a brand new act
While the TV's showin' Newlyweds a real fun game to play
But here in Topeka the screen door's a bangin'
The coffee's boilin' over and the wash needs a hangin'
One wants a cookie and one wants a changin' and one's on the way
Now what was I doin' Jimmy get away from there darn there goes the phone
Hello honey what's that you say you're bringin' a few ole Army buddies home
You're callin' from a bar get away from there
No not you honey I was talkin' to the baby wait a minute honey the door bell
Honey could you stop at the market and hello hello well I'll be
The girls in New York City they all march for women's lib
And Better Homes and Gardens shows the modern way to live
And the pill may change the world tomorrow but meanwhile today
Here in Topeka the flies are a buzzin'
The dog is a barkin' and the floor needs a scrubbin'
One needs a spankin' and one needs a huggin' Lord one's on the way
Oh gee I hope it ain't twins again
-- grince

1:51 PM  
Blogger Washington Cube said...

Grince: It's always twins. It's the newest and most popular social accessory. I'm surprised Brangelina didn't go for the six pack ;)

P.S. Gawd bless Loretta Lynn. She makes a mean sweet pertater pie.

3:22 PM  
Blogger Washington Cube said...

....and while I'm on the subject of Loretta Lynn, there's always something that puzzled me. In the movie, Coal Miner's Daughter, she visits Patsy Cline just before her death and gets leftover maternity clothes (true,) and she hears the news of Patsy's death on the radio (true.) HOWEVER...and they totally left this out of the movie (but it's in the book, and I'll never know why because it would be one of the strongest visual scenes of the movie): In real life, when Patsy Cline died, they laid her out in her living room, which was still common in the South when I would go visit relatives...heck..some regions may still be doing it...I don't know...however...

They laid Patsy's open coffin in the living room of her home for visitation, and the house was full of people, and at some point during the evening everyone had shifted out of the room elsewhere, and Loretta Lynn sat there with Patsy the entire night, watching over her. I found it a compelling (and understandable) act, and I never knew why the filmmakers bypassed that one.

3:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Forget about Joe Six-Pack. What about Joe Meth Lab?

5:39 PM  
Blogger Washington Cube said...

Anon? Have you been watching Breaking Bad? Everything a teen needs to learn about chemistry and cooking crystal meth. I love it when he blows things up. Just your average high school chemistry teacher with lung cancer cooking clear.

6:42 PM  
Blogger Reya Mellicker said...

I'm sick of the campaign. I wish we were voting tomorrow.

So glad to see you posting, though. You're so smart.

4:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Cube,

Anon 9:39 here.

No, I have not seen this "Breaking Bad." I will check it out.

Thanks!

4:45 PM  
Blogger Cyndy said...

Here Sarah Palin's singsongy speech patterns are put to good use. Enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9nlwwFZdXck&NR=1

2:02 AM  
Blogger Sheri in Rehoboth said...

Cube: I was tickled to check out your blog and find a new post. I'll ditto the "good to see you writing again!" sentiment.

As for Palin, my older brother called from Florida to ask me what I thought of Palin shortly after McCain chose her as his running mate...and what I thought of Hillary supporters voting for the McCain/Palin ticket simply because there was a vagina on the ticket (can I say that here? (grin))

I was appalled when he told me that several of his wife's friends, who were big Hillary supporters when she was still in the race, are going to vote for McCain simply because he put a woman on the ticket. I mean, how much further from Hillary can you get? And how little can you care about the issues if you're going to flip from Hillary for Prez to McCain for Prez purely because of a vagina? Un-be-weev-a-bul!

8:02 AM  

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