Wednesday, August 17, 2005

One Out Of Four People Are Jerks.
If You Have Three Nice Friends...It's You!

My friend Drew instant messaged me this afternoon to ask if I had ever gotten "up to snuff" on Adobe Photoshop. My brother had given me the software as a gift and had been teaching me, but that ground to a halt after a point. I told Drew that while I had learned a few more things since we last spoke about it, I had never fully mastered Photoshop at the level I wished to be at. He told me about a seminar coming up on September 12th, put on by Careertrack.com. I told Drew that I liked him for thinking of me that way and remembering my interests, and he said, "Oh...yeah...there's a seminar on "Dealing With Difficult People." He added, "I only know one asshole, and I'm him...so I'm letting all of my friends know about that one, too.

Wouldn't it be wonderful to invite all of your friends to a seminar on dealing with difficult people to help them learn how to deal with you? It would twice as fantabulous to show up yourself, just to see who basically agrees with you, that you're an asshole." Drew? A few years back, Jonathan Richman wrote a song called Pablo Picasso Was Not An Asshole, and the lyrics went:

Well some people try to pick up girls and get called assholes
This never happened to Pablo Picasso
He could walk down your street
And girls could not resist his stare

So Pablo Picasso was never called an asshole

Well the girls would turn the color
Of the avocado when he would drive
Down their street in his Eldorado

And girls could not resist his stare
Pablo Picasso never got called an asshole
Not like you
All right?

Well he was only 5'3"

But girls could not resist his stare
Pablo Picasso never got called an asshole
Not in New York.

Oh well, be not schmuck, be not obnoxious
Be not bellbottom bummer, or asshole
Remember the story of Pablo Picasso
He could walk down your street

And girls could not resist his stare
Pablo Picasso was never called an asshole.1


...so what time is that seminar, Drew?


I'm a WHAT???




1 Actually, quite a few people thought Picasso was an asshole, or worse.

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5 Comments:

Blogger KG said...

If he stared, did he have one giant eye on the side of his face, Cube?

2:04 PM  
Blogger Washington Cube said...

Only if he were a fan of Cubism. :)

2:13 PM  
Blogger A Unique Alias said...

And David Bowie did a great cover of it on his otherwise abysmal album, "Reality."

3:15 PM  
Blogger Complacent Chase said...

I'm the jerk...DAMN!! I knew it!

3:58 PM  
Blogger MKD said...

I think it's great he is inviting YOU to a seminar on how to deal with assholes but he isn't going a seminar to stop BEING an asshole.

Like my mom always says, two assholes make too much sh**.

8:08 PM  

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