Thursday, December 28, 2006

The Five Wise Men. Yer Late!

She Gave Birth Three Days Ago.

Revisionist: The Five Wise Men
Who Came From The South

Did anyone else write about The Playaz' Christmas card this year? I just got mine. Fellas? Yer late. Please note a living, breathing Guv'na, back from the dead. He should have held off reviving until Easter, then he could have made a bigger impact. Just speculation, but do you think they use Santa during the off-season to run comet dust for them?

If you're having trouble reading the messages, the card says "May this Holiday season be filled with dreams of pecan logs (Stuckey's), cocaine (comet dust shortage), and egg nog (recipe: one part egg to three parts nog)," and further down "Seasons Greetings to all! (except to Pagans and Witches). (Note to Reya).

Tac has written: "10" base to tip."
(I "think" he means Rudolph's nose).

The Revived Guv'na writes: "Ah, super-cuba!"
(The second I read this, I started hearing Abba singing "Super Trooper." I think Guv'na means my super computer status, but then again he may mean sugar cube and think he's in Cuba, waiting for the waiter to bring him a mojito).

I think Bon has hit the nog, because he's feeling warm to say, "Hugs and open mouth kisses! (Do you know how many germs are floating around right now??? Oh. Right. The booze kills them).

Wayne is keeping focused on the true meaning of Christmas, quoting Joshua 5:2. (I had to get my King James out for this one.
"At that time the LORD said unto Joshua, Make thee sharp knives, and circumcise again the children of Israel the second time." (Yanno. Why don't they ever show this at Christmas? Television stations could preempt The Charlie Brown Christmas Special or It's A Wonderful Life and add a whole new dimension to the holiday).

Phil closes the card off with "Cube--I hope you are doing well. Happy Kwanzaa."

Happy Kwanzaa to you too, Phil, and to all of The Merry Gentlemen Playaz.

I wish them a joyous New Year, and I hope they've made their resolutions. Things like:

Start buying lottery tickets at a luckier store.

Don't eat medicine just because it looks like candy.

Always replace the gas nozzle before driving away from the pump.

Keep an extra safe distance when driving near police cars while wearing sunglasses after dark and having the driver's seat in the "prone" position.

Learn what the hell "resolution" means.

Become the number one hit when you type "Playaz" into The Google. (They are currently number two).

Happy Holidays From Washington, Gentlemen


Blogger Hammer said...

Bon said he hoped I "got laid real soon."

8:24 PM  
Blogger Washington Cube said...

Hammer: They're a mess.

9:40 PM  
Blogger Momentary Academic said...

Funny thing, Cube, I was thinking about that older hip hop song, SuperSonic.

The s is for super the u is for unique the p is for perfection ('cause you know that we are freaks), the e is for exotic and the r is for rap, so all you funky people just stay the hell back.

Oh my god. I've embarrassed myself yet again.

Thursday at 11:44pm. Not a new recored. :)

11:46 PM  
Blogger Momentary Academic said...

I can't even spell record. Now that's a record.

11:46 PM  
Blogger Washington Cube said...

MA: Is this where I say, "Aptly named?" JOKING!

11:48 PM  
Blogger Reya Mellicker said...

A click on the pic of the card enlarges the image. I noticed they were not inclined to wish my old friends the witches and pagans a happy season. I'm just guessing they know solstice originated with the pagans - they're pretty smart guys after all, and endlessly creative in such demented ways!

9:01 AM  
Blogger playfulinnc said...

Oh god, that's funny.

On my list: get card from Playaz.

12:38 PM  
Blogger Phil said...

Reya - that is exactly what I'd expect a witch to say....

Sorry it was late Cube - I had a hard time digging up where you are stored with the other Super Computers.

Also, Guv'na was using a play on words of Muhammad Ali's album, Muhammad Ali vs. Mr. Tooth Decay. Mr. Tooth Decay had a sidekick called "Sugar-Cube-a" (not sure if the "a" was just linguistic, or actually part of his name...Mr. Tooth Decay had a spanish accent).

10:10 PM  
Blogger Phil said...

P.S. If you put in "gold frankinscence (sic) and myrrh" into the Google, we are #1.

2:11 PM  

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