Monday, January 21, 2008

The Bullet Is Mightier Than The Pen

I heard a story on Saturday about that day we had snow last week. This takes place in another city and on the Eastern seaboard. I have a friend who works in a part of his city where there is a prevalence of art and craft and those kitschy shops that attract the stylish urbanites. On the day it began snowing heavily, his co-workers had departed for the day, and he was left alone in the building where he works at restoring antique furniture.

An interesting heirloom had arrived in the shop: a slant top desk, authentic and intriguing, and he looked forward to beginning work on it. Usually when pieces come in, they have been emptied out, he said, but sometimes there are residual things that have not been removed. In examining the chest, which had many pigeonholes and drawers, he noticed the desk still had some pens and pencils inside it. One particular pen that was gold colored caught his eye, and he proceeded to examine it more closely. He said it seemed oddly heavy in his hand. Inspecting it, he noticed a lever on the pen, and he pushed it, causing a .22 caliber bullet to shoot out and graze his finger. Earlier in his storytelling, he had told me that he expected certain occupational injuries from working around tools in a woodshop. I don't think he ever anticipated a bullet wound.

At first he was startled: freaked out and didn't know what had happened. The pen had detonated a .22 caliber bullet, and the noise was very loud. With his ears ringing, he realized what had happened, and since he was alone and isolated, he went to retrieve the company first aid kit and wrapped his finger in gauze, applied ice and held his hand above his heart.

The bullet landed in the scrape wood pile. Luckily he hadn't been looking into the pen's point, like the nimcompoop in a horror movie who picks the blobby thing up on a stick and is poking at it, or who says to his friends, "What's making that noise in the basement?"

He decided against going to the emergency room which he felt was more of a trauma than getting shot. I wondered what he would have said to the ambulance driver or hospital authorities. "A pen shot me?" "James Bond shot me?"

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Blogger I-66 said...

More importantly, could it get through security at the airport?

10:36 AM  
Blogger Phil said...

The pen truly is mightier than the sword.

11:18 AM  
Blogger Hammer said...

Unless of course it's a sword that shoots bullets.

12:14 PM  
Blogger Phil said...

Nope - still the pen.

Because you can then write a check with it or make out a grocery list.

12:28 PM  
Blogger Washington Cube said...

But with a sword you can charge like Teddy Roosevelt. And 66? You'd be amazed at what clears security at the airport. Funny enough, at Logan Airport in Boston, they had a shadow box up of what not to have, and one thing I saw (and REALLY wanted to take a picture of it was a pizza wheel. I had to laugh. Packing for travel, and gotta have that pizza wheel on board.

I wish I could say this was one of the stranger stories I heard over the weekend but, t'isn't.

3:32 PM  
Blogger Phil said...

But you can still stab someone with a pen, even after you've shot someone with it, and written a check for your gas bill.

Ever see "Casino"?

5:54 PM  
Blogger Hammer said...

In the immortal words of NFL receiver Randy Moss after getting nailed with one of his many fines when he was with the Vikings:

"When you're rich, you don't write checks. Straight cash, homey."

10:57 PM  
Blogger Washington Cube said...

I love that scene, Phil. And he pays...he killed a made guy.

10:57 PM  
Blogger Washington Cube said...

You guys are killing me. I have MISSED YOU!!!

12:19 AM  
Blogger dianamuse said...

Doesn't Q put tracking devices on these thingys?

8:08 AM  
Blogger All Things Bright and Beautiful... said...


Where do you get these stories from ??!!

There are still stranger stories!!???

Phil - you are in the Rhelm of the one and only "Cube" (well, now there's 2 in the rhelm!!)- I am going to have to go over and visit your blog - you really give this chickateeta a run for her money!

I like it!!

9:10 AM  
Blogger Washington Cube said...

Diana: One would think. Also update on the hand: doing fine. I did half (jokingly) wonder if he should get to keep the desk. Who keeps a loaded pen in their desk? And no, 66-Phil-Travis, I am NOT looking for a show of hands.

Bright: Just what I hear from friends and strangers on the street. They always say truth is stranger than fiction.

3:14 PM  
Blogger Loralee said...

I recently inherited two very cool
pens, and while neither doubles as a pen, I've heard that one of them could double as something else.

It almost disturbs me enough to not use it, but it doesn't ;)


12:49 PM  
Anonymous College Term Papers said...

Thanks for this info, this issue has been bugging me like crazy for the last couple of days

6:42 AM  
Blogger Washington Cube said...

College: The man this happened to died last year. He was the most incredibly handsome young man, and a truly gift individual. He died young. He had been swimming, was talking to a bandmate on the phone, and dropped dead at the age of 38. Everyone was devestated and have yet to get over the loss. How odd you would ressurect one of his old stories. We think about him all of the time. His parents are destroyed over the loss.

8:38 AM  

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