Thursday, January 17, 2008

Flush With Success

I was at the gym last night, inside a bathroom stall, and I heard a young woman enter the dressing room and stand outside the door of the toilet, seemingly talking on her cell phone. She entered the stall next to me, still talking on her cell phone, and I heard her say, "I've just finished reading a book called "You Can Be A Success And You Will Be!" (fictitious title, but you get the drift), and you know something? I am going to be a success (I heard her peeing at this point,) and Jim at work? He is not going to get to me anymore or get me down. I am going to get ahead and get what I want in life (grabbing at toilet paper and wiping,) and (flushing,) after reading this book I know I can have anything I want in life. "
I was, and am, speechless.


I poppped into a Dunkin' Donuts for a cup of coffee for a nice jolt to get me through back to back workouts, and I saw a young Hispanic woman enter, in an advanced state of pregnancy with a young baby in his onesie on her hip. She set him on the counter while she talked to her friend working there, and I watched as the diapered baby butt skid around where people receive their food, then watched him crawl over to the oversized coffee mug for tips. My Spanish is for cacahuete, but I understood enough that the cashier said, "Just like a little man," when he knocked the cup over and all of the money he was grabbing at fell out. Then his mother reached into her diaper bag, opened a bottle of Pepsi, handing it to the baby who drank from it like a bottle, then took several swigs of it herself. I've got nothing further to add on that one. I'm a woman who puts Splenda in her coffee. I've got my own issues.

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Blogger I-66 said...

At least it wasn't Mountain Dew. That should be for adults only.

3:13 PM  
Blogger Washington Cube said...

I've seen similar, I-66. Once I was in a pharmacy line at CVS and a mother was giving her baby bottled Coke...after he said, "COKE!" She beamed at me and reported that had been his first word. Shaking head. Can you imagine your child's first words are "Taco Bell" or "Quiznos?"

3:26 PM  
Blogger Loralee said...

My parents were strict with me. No candy or sweets for probably the first 6 years of my life. Milk with Dinner. Had to eat my Broccoli. If I wanted to go to McDonald's, I had to spell the name (properly, with Capitals and lower case) before we passed the driveway. It did have to be a meal time, too. I'm sure that it did me good, even though I have a sweet tooth now, and make chocolates for a business.

I don't think I could have a real friendship with someone who treated their children that way,
and it scares me to see people do that sort of thing.

Not to mention the diapered bottom
on the counter... eek.


4:27 PM  
Blogger Phil said...

If you were truly bold (and sophomoric) you would have made loud farting noises while she was talking.

I also don't know what to say about the latter. My kids were just introduced to the world of Twizzlers - tho' it's the only thing other than Nilla Wafers they eat w/ sugar in it.

4:40 PM  
Blogger Washington Cube said...

Lee: We only got fast food on special occasions, as well. Hard to believe how commonplace it's become. Thinking about that poop diaper on the counter drove me nutz, and I SO wanted to take the picture of the baby drinking Pepsi, and probably could have, but....sigh. I showed some restraint. Remember restraint, Mamacita?

What really floored me about these two, then gym, was that woman on her cell phone in the toilet, peeing while talking to her friend, about her future success. You can't make this stuff up.

4:44 PM  
Blogger Washington Cube said...


There were so many things I could have said or done. I just wanted my caffeine fix so I could go lift weights...must have worked...heavier weights and increased reps. It sure is good to see you out there, Phil. Now give us a new blog entry, PLEASE. :)

4:45 PM  
Blogger All Things Bright and Beautiful... said...

Cube - I dont want to hear that baby story I dont want to - aaaagggg.

The toilet one is a classic!! Oh you bring laughter, poignacy and wonder at the human race into our lives

10:59 PM  
Blogger All Things Bright and Beautiful... said...

And Phil - I thought you'd eaten your kids! :-)

11:00 PM  
Blogger Washington Cube said...

Beautiful: Life is surreal, isn't it? You hear these things and just think, "Can't be." Don't they get the big picture. She wants to be a success. She reads a book on how to be a success. She tells her friend she will be a success....but she's urinating.

P.S. You have to mark Phil's blog. He's had an illness and not been posting lately, but his blog is a creative living work of art in a very unique, personal way.

9:16 AM  

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