Friday, August 14, 2009

The Shooting Of The Hip Yoga Death Goddess*

Woody Harrelson just shot me in yoga class. I was dreaming I had returned to my yoga class. The studio was dark and people were in class in the shadows working through a series of movements. I told myself I was only returning to retrieve purple pillowcases from my locker. I was wearing the wrong clothes. I walked into the studio and fell in line doing the poses. I was thinking, "I can't do this. I am wearing the wrong clothes." Yet I could.
My yoga instructor left the room and Woody Harrelson walked in, (as the teacher,) and he seemed normal at first, but then he shifted into political tirades a la Oliver Stone, just talking madness. I tried to speak to him rationally. He kept babbling insanity.
I was holding an art book, and in the back was this folded diagram in green and white expounding and building out as a "tree" chart on some art movements. Woody ripped it out of the book, claiming it was a book he had written, and he taped the diagram on the wall, still ranting and pointing at the paper and talking political conspiracy.

Savasana Corpse Pose

He came over to me while babbling at the others. He grabbed me and produced a gun and pressed it into my flesh. I kept talking to him as if he were normal, knowing he wasn't. When I realized his intent: to kill me, I started wrestling with him for the gun, but he was stronger than I was, and he shot me in the side. People pulled him off of me, and I sat trying to stay very still to assess how damaging the shot was. It took a long time for the EMT's to arrive. I thought, "If I am conscious this long, I won't die from this."

When we arrived at the hospital and they had me in the emergency room, I asked the doctor who was prepping me for surgery if I should say my final goodbyes to the world, meaning I wouldn't make it through the surgery. He had a funny look in his eye.

I awoke with a start. Now I'm sitting here with a pain in my ribs where the phantom bullet went in. I guess I should go back to sleep and see what happens next.

*The title refers to an Ultimate Spinach song entitled, "Ballad of the Hip Death Goddess." It's on YouTube. I tried embedding it, (with my phantom bullet pain still hurting,) and it kept failing, so foo, yanno? Go look it up.

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OpenID somebodystolemytwinkie said...

Holy shit girl! Vivid dream. And weird that I wrote about a vivid nightmare I had and posted it today too. (insert Twilight Zone music here)

Anyways... those phantom pains? I once dreamt that my dead dog came back to life as a zombie dog and it bit me on my wrist. I woke up in the morning and my wrist hurt.

Another time I dreamt that my life size doll beat me up. I woke and had "bruise like" pain all over my body.

I used to think that maybe they weren't dreams? hahha because they were so vivid, yah know? Then I read somewhere that you sometimes incorporate whatever pain you're already feeling (because of sleeping a certain way, etc) into your dreams and so I guess that makes more sense than my "my zombie dog really DID bite me it wasn't just a dream" theory, right?

6:24 PM  
Blogger Cyndy said...

Wow, that sounds like something straight out of a movie! I hate waking up, going back to sleep to try and catch the ending, and then having it not be there anymore.

8:31 PM  
Blogger Washington Cube said...

Cyndy: I tried going back to sleep this a.m. and it just wouldn't work. I wanted to undo, and read further into my comment to Twinks to hear the rest.

Twinks: Of course, the logic in all of us tells us we were sleeping at a weird angle and that's what created the pain. However. I had that phantom bullet pain in my ribs all day. It's still there. There is a piece of me wondering about all of this, and if I had to comment on the dog bite? I'd say you were ghost bit. Seriously. Lemme go read your post and see what you say.

8:54 PM  
Blogger Ronda Laveen said...

Well, purple is the color of your higher self, yoga is about living your life in balance and does Woody remind you of anyone I your life that is not good for you?

OMG, word ver is blesses!

10:56 PM  
Blogger Washington Cube said...

Ronda: I know pretty much everything that triggered in this dream, but the pillowcases were an odd twist. And my latest word verification is "torking." Sometimes those words are like tossing I Ching coins, aren't they?

11:56 PM  
Blogger Reya Mellicker said...

I have a client who was stabbed in a dream, and still has the physical pain that either created the dream or vice versa. You never know.

Wood is the element that is associated with the liver in Chinese medicine. Hope you get to a doctor sometime sooner rather than later to have yourself checked out.

Or go see Evan Rabinowitz, the Sufi acupuncturist. He could really help you, Cube.

Sweet dreams tonight, I hope.

10:32 AM  
Blogger Washington Cube said...

Reya: I was up until 4 a.m. last night, I'm guessing not wanting a repeat of the night before. I know why it was Woody Harrelson in the dream, Reya. My dreams are very literal and you can always explain them. As for the pain, it disappeared late last night and hasn't come back. Finally faded back into the mists of Dreamsville.

5:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Did you see the trailer of the upcoming zombie movie with Woody (which, by the way, looks kinda good)?

I'd like to put a bug in your ear, if you're up for more disturbing themes: a remake of Mildred Pierce as an HBO miniseries, starring Kate Winslet. Just saying.

-- grince

9:53 AM  
Blogger Washington Cube said...

Grince: That trailer may be part of the problem. My own life is difficult enough righ tnow without me worrying about zombies, vampires or any other living dead, including that stupid bitch at Whole Foods blocking three of us from baby greens while she made up her mind like no one else in the world was around her.

I heard about the remake on MP, and I think it's totally wrong, but then I thought the remake of The Women would be wrong (and it flopped,) or just about any remake. Pride and Prejudice has a few that are better, but none that ever make it totally so.

I'm out to do some gardening. Praying to the saints that protect against insect bites and poison ivy.

2:00 PM  
Blogger Phil said...

Woody's never been the same since he started dressing in hemp.

2:06 PM  
Blogger Washington Cube said...

Phil: He was so cute on that Frank's Place show set in New Orleans, and then Cheers. Somehow JFK and Natural Born Killers worked their way in their, so Woody has psychopathic killer isn't that far fetched anymore. His Daddy did time for murder, too, y'all.

2:47 PM  
Blogger Velvet said...

Funny, I was watching old Simpsons episodes yesterday and there's one where Homer gets kicked out of Moe's so he goes to look for a new bar. He ends up on the set of Cheers, complete with Woody. He wasn't brandishing a gun or anything.

The mind is pretty powerful. I've willed myself to orgasm in a dream, but when I get hurt or shot, the pain stays behind. Lucky the pleasure follows me out of the dream. Only me. I know.

1:12 PM  
Anonymous Twinkie said...

Hey WC... I edited my nightmare blog entry to link up to the other nightmares I've written about. The demon one is pretty common and I was actually told once by a reader that it is a form of Sleep Paraylisis. This particular reader said if your body feels physically affected like you can't move, or like you're awake inside but your body is still asleep you might be having sleep paraylisis and hypogognic hallucinations that come with it. I've never checked into it but I prefer to think that's what it is rather than the ghost bite/demon being real theory! LOL it helps me sleep better at night.

4:14 PM  
Blogger Rachel said...

wow, that is intense. and that you remember so many details is incredible. I woke with a start the other night, my heart beating wildly in my chest. but i couldn't for the life of me remember what i was dreaming about...

3:47 PM  
Blogger Ryane said...

Dreams like that are so interesting. And frightening. I agree with Reya - maybe not a bad idea to get your liver checked out.

1:32 PM  

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