Moving Forward, No Matter What
I'm still in the throes of health problems. I went to see the doctor for what I thought was going to be a minor problem, and then the tests began, and the vials of blood (seven including today,) and then more problems are discovered, and then more problems, and I find myself sinking down a deeper health hole than I ever imagined possible, and I considered myself somewhat health conscious and careful. SURPRISE!!! I will be seeing a doctor or undergoing a procedure every day this week, and more to come. I called a childhood friend today. We quite literally go back to diaperhood together. I needed her levelheaded opinion on all of this mess. She gave me very sound advice about journaling what's been going on, so the doctors have something to look at in keeping it all straight. She was laughing when she said, "Spreadsheet it and add colors." She told me she had read a study somewhere that said doctors will listen to you for about twenty minutes and then they shut off. She also said I needed to sell myself like advertising and keep their interest going with the hope at least one of them will connect the dots and find answers for me. She also recommended keeping lots of humor in my life as I am going to need laughter as a distraction. Good tips, and I think she's right.
Last night I had my second blog dream. I think I'm fretting because I'm not writing. In the dream I was heading home, and I stopped and purchased a magazine. The magazine had some type of advertising inserted in it that played music and ran a commercial for some product. I thought it was highly annoying. When I arrived home I had another magazine or two waiting for me that I subscribed to, and they also were jangling away with commercial music tunes. I searched other blogs and no one was mentioning it, and I thought "When I awaken, I need to blog about this because it really is an annoying thing and when did magazines start doing this?" Laughing. Uh, Cube? Wake up. They don't do it...yet. I can certainly foresee the day when they begin this practice. Can't you?
God, I love men. I realized I am many, many times blessed in having this wonderful circle of men in my life: men that make me laugh, men that give me the truth, men that share their most secret thoughts with me, knowing I will never tell and men that can casually say, "Babe," or "Doll," or "Toots" and somehow the bad stuff recedes.
I was feeling so bad last week when I kept hearing upcoming weather reports of glorious weather and "you'll want to be outdoors for this one, folks," and I knew I wouldn't be able to muster energy to do anything that I wanted to be doing, so early one evening I stopped at a store and bought lots of pretty makeup: light pinky shades for Spring, and a frivolous pair of earrings for Summer--anything to keep me feeling female. I had a male companion with me during this process and the salesgirl was saying how nice it was that he was with me and "so patient and not complaining, etc." He said he didn't mind at all, which was sweet. I showed him this one skin cream I had bought and asked him if he would like to try a little. I told him it wasn't too "frou frou." He said, "Oh, you want me to lie back and dab lotion on my face and cover my eyes with tomatoes." I laughed so hard. I said, "No silly, you aren't making a salad, and it's cucumbers you put on your eyes, not tomatoes. O.K. I get his point."....and a light vinaigrette behind the pulse points."