Under the Lilacs: The Women In Abraham Lincoln's Life

I've been thinking about Abraham Lincoln a lot lately, having just finished more books about his life as well as the anniversary of his death just past. All of my life I've been reading about this man. We had several biographies about Lincoln in our family home that I read as a child, and throughout the years I would periodically hear of a new book, or seek out something that had been recommended, to further my education about him. (1) Last year I read a book entitled American Brutus: John Wilkes Booth and the Lincoln Conspiracies by Michael W. Kauffman that gave me greater insight into Booth's motives behind his crime as well as his time spent in flight. Amazingly, a great many of Booth's stopping points along that route are still in existence and can be witnessed today. (2) This year I read Manhunt: The Twelve Day Chase for Lincoln's Killer by James L. Swanson, and one fact I picked up from that book was how long the group of men stood in the middle of the street outside of Ford's Theatre, bearing a dying Lincoln, trying to decide where to take him. (3) It was while I was reading Manhunt that I found two more books of interest in the bibliography: Twenty Days by Dorothy Meserve Kunhardt and Philip B. Kunhardt, Jr. which is the largest collection of photographs in book form about Lincoln's life, (4) and Blood on the Moon: The Assassination of Abraham Lincoln by Edward Steers, Jr., a book highly recommended by the author of Manhunt.

Sarah Lincoln

Putting down the last book, I thought back on this thread of women who wove through Lincoln's life and their influence on him. Lincoln's mother, Nancy Hanks Lincoln, died when he was nine years old. His sister was eleven. The very next year, his father remarried a widowed woman, Sarah Bush Johnston, and she joined the Lincoln family with her three children from her previous marriage. When Sarah arrived at the cabin, the Lincoln children took to her immediately, so history says, and I wonder just how emotionally starved those children were, prior to her arrival. (5) Even though she couldn't sign her own name, she brought three books with her into the marriage: Webster's Speller, Robinson Crusoe and The Arabian Nights. Abe already owned Pilgrim's Progress and Aesop's Fables. It is well known that Lincoln would walk many miles to obtain a book, borrowing from every neighbor within walking distance. I marvel than in an agrarian age in our country, when children were born to work alongside their parents on the land, that this uneducated woman had the foresight to convince Abraham's father that his son's reading time not be disturbed, nor that he be forced wholly into physical labor. She is quoted as saying of the little boy, "His mind and mine, what little I had, seemed to run together, moving in the same channel." When Abraham's cousin, Dennis Hanks, rode out to the cabin to tell Sarah the dreadful news of Lincoln's death, he is reported to have told her, "Abe's dead," to which she replied, "Yes, I know, Denny. I knowed they'd kill him. I ben waiting for it." (6)

Ann Rutledge's Grammar Book

Lincoln's first love, Ann Rutledge, was short lived, as she died of typhoid fever at age 22. There was a deathbed farewell, and her passing left Abraham feeing suicidal. There isn't much known of her life, but what memories existed were positive. A quote from Ann's sister Nancy states, "I can never forget how sad and broken-hearted Lincoln looked when he came out of the room from the last interview with Annie. No one knows what was said at that meeting, for they were alone together." There are no drawings or photographs of Ann, but the cover of the grammar text used by both Lincoln and Ann survives, with her signature at the top. The book is in the Library of Congress.

The Young Groom, 1848

When Lincoln and Mary Todd met and forged a relationship, it was not easy-going, nor would it be throughout their lifetime. My own feeling is that is was a love match, but one of those where one of the pairing is much revered and loved, while the other is a cipher and people in their circle wonder how such a union exists because of the disparities in character. (7)

The Young Mrs. Lincoln, 1848

One of those mysteries where we wonder what each fulfills in the other to create such a match. Mary was jealous of the mourned Ann, but then she was jealous of many women who crossed Lincoln's path.

The Lincoln's Marriage Certificate

One who would have escaped her wrath was little Grace Bedell who wrote Lincoln when she was eleven years old. Grace is remembered, of course, for planting the idea of Lincoln's growing a beard. Here is her letter to Lincoln:

"Hon A B Lincoln... Dear Sir My father has just got home from the fair and brought home your picture and Mr. Hamlin's. I am a little girl only 11 years old, but want you should be President of the United States very much so I hope you wont think me very bold to write to such a great man as you are. Have you any little girls about as large as I am if so give them my love and tell her to write to me if you cannot answer this letter. I have got 4 brother's and part of them will vote for you any way and if you let your whiskers grow I will try and get the rest of them to vote for you you would look a great deal better for your face is so thin. All the ladies like whiskers and they would tease their husband's to vote for you and then you would be President. My father is going to vote for you and if I was a man I would vote for you but I will try to get every one to vote for you that I can I think that rail fence around your picture makes it very pretty. I have got a little baby sister she is nine weeks old and is just as cunning as can be. When you direct your letter to Grace Bedell Westfield Chatauque County New York.
I must not write any more answer this letter right off Good bye. Grace Bedell

We also have Lincoln's response to Miss Bedell:

Miss Grace Bedell My dear little Miss Your very agreeable letter of the 15th is received--I regret the necessity of saying I have no daughters--I have three sons--one seventeen, one nine, and one seven years of age--They, with their mother, constitute my whole family--As to whiskers, having never worn any, do you not think people would call it a piece of silly affection if I were to begin it now? Your very sincere well wisher A. Lincoln

Here is a picture of Grace at fourteen, three years after she wrote Lincoln: (8)

Grace Bedell, Age Fourteen

Clara Harris and Major Henry Rathbone were not the Lincoln's first choice to accompany them to Ford's Theatre that night. In fact, they were rather far down on the list, as many declined before them. (9) The first request had gone out to General Ulysses S. Grant and his wife, Julia. (10) There has been much speculation over time what would have occurred if Grant had been present with Lincoln that night. Some assert that Grant would have been attended to by a military guard that would not have allowed Booth to enter the box. This is hardly accurate, as Grant had been with Lincoln on other occasions to the theatre where there was no guard present. The excuse the Grant's made to the Lincoln's was that after putting in a day of work, Grant and his wife wished to catch a train so they might visit their children in New Jersey. Some historians find it a pat excuse, harking back to an incident that occurred in late March between Mrs. Grant and Mrs. Lincoln.

Julia Grant

On March 23rd, Lincoln visited Grant at his military base at City Point, Virginia. His wife accompanied him, and they travelled on a steamer called the River Queen, aptly named, I think, given the imperious nature of Mary Lincoln. Upon arriving at the base, Mary and Julia were to travel by horse drawn ambulance provided by the Army while the men rode ahead on horseback. When the women arrived, they saw the wife of General Charles Griffin riding alongside the President. Mrs. Lincoln became extremely upset and was visibly shaken, and it is reported that she felt Mrs. Griffin's presence with the President a serious breach of protocol. She was so angry, she tried climbing out of the ambulance and had to be restrained for fear she would jump into the deep mud surrounding the vehicle.

The next day, another incident occurred when the attractive wife of General Ord was riding next to Lincoln, and riding with the men while they reviewed the troops. Mary Lincoln was reported to have arrive at the scene that day and say, "What does that woman mean by riding by the side of the President?" When Julia Grant tried to calm her, she turned on Julia and began accusing her and her husband of coveting the White House and wanting to replace the Lincolns. "I suppose you think you will get in the White House yourself?," she is quoted as saying. Julia, on the other hand, was making excuses for Mrs. Lincoln to the others saying that she must be fatigued from all of the travel and the unpleasant, jolting ride that they had experienced. Mrs. Lincoln wasn't through with Julia, however. On seeing the two women arrive, Mrs. Ord rode over to the ambulance to join them. Mary flew into a rage, accusing Mrs. Ord of trying to surplant her and saying that the troops would think she was the President's wife. From what history reports, Mrs. Lincoln let fly and called Mrs. Ord "vile names in the presence of a crowd of officers." There was another incident reported where Mrs. Grant sat down on a piling near a river pier in weariness, and Mrs. Lincoln lashed out at her and her inappropriate behavior of daring to sit in the presence of the President's wife. And so, the Grant's declined to visit Ford Theatre that night. (11)

Laura Keene

I often wonder at the choice the Lincoln's made, as a political family, to attend a comedic play on the religious observance of Good Friday. Laura Keene was the star, that night, and the play was An American Cousin. I never knew this, until recently, but immediately following Lincoln's being shot, Laura forced her way into the box where he lay and asked permission to hold his bleeding head so she might "calm him." Later, she acted her greatest performance perhaps, when she started touring around on display in her bloodied silk dress, reenacting that night. This is such an unsavory piece of history: the ego forcing it's way into that box, the playing out of the dramatic moment in her little tableau of administering angel, and then the rather sanguinary display she made of herself following his death, taking it to the road. (12) A piece of that gown still exists:

After Lincoln's death, he was prepared for display, and display...and display. Following his funeral in Washington, he was taken by train up the Eastern seaboard to the major cities, then out West to Springfield, Illinois, and each city created massive tributes of mourning to their lost President. There was also an increasing sense of competitiveness in who would have the largest parade, the longest viewing lines, the biggest catafalque. Along on the journey was Lincoln's decease son, Willie, who was removed from his resting place at Oak Hill Cemetery in Georgetown, so that he might be buried with his father and his previous deceased brother in Illinois.

Lincoln Funeral Procession, Chicago

Often Lincoln's hearses were flanked by young girls in white as they made their way down the city streets. I have found a rather poor quality photograph of the young women of Chicago fulfilling this role.

I read something this week that will stick with me a long time, I think. The funerals were occurring throughout late April into early May, and at that time of year, the lilac bushes were in bloom, as they are now. People were snapping off branches to throw under the hearse wheels as they passed through town. According to historical interviewing, there were many, when asked to remember something about the time when Lincoln had died were reported as saying, "I never smell lilacs without thinking of that day." (13) (14)

Barefootnote (15)

(1) We even had a historical fiction written about Mary Todd Lincoln, portraying her in a sensitive light, so that I grew up having mixed feelings about her relationship with her husband, not necessarily seeing her (as my brother put it) "a total nut job."

(2) I highly recommend American Brutus of all of the books I've read in the past two years, as it gives a great deal more insight into the roaming and scheming of Booth in the years prior to the assassination. Loyalist or egotist. Much to consider.

(3) They stood quite a while out in that mud lumped street holding Lincoln while they debated where to take him. The tavern next door? Hardly the place for a President to die, and on Good Friday, to boot.

(4) The collection of photographs that are used in this book were gathered over the years by the authors' father and grandfather, Frederick Hill Merserve, and what a lifetime's labor of love it must have been to amass such images. The book is well worth seeking as you will find things you've probably never seen before including an incredible accounting of all of the funerals held in the cities along the travel route from Washington to Springfield, Illinois. They don't hold back, either, on reporting the craziness and competition that was going on to best each other in their displays.

(5) Sarah Lincoln had to have been a woman of phenomenal character and strength to join her new husband in the wilderness, and the untended children awaiting her. Almost immediately, she had him making improvements to benefit his family: adding a wood floor to the cabin, fixing a leaking roof that dumped snow over the children's beds, creating vegetable gardens. Up until the time he left for Washington, Lincoln would ride out on horseback some 70 miles to visit with Sarah on a regular basis. I found it a very interesting tidbit that Mary Lincoln never accompanied him to get to know this woman who was such a huge supporter in the development of her husband.

(6) Dennis Hanks, Lincoln's cousin, knew him from birth. Dennis was ten when Lincoln was born, and his memory of the birth is, "I tuk and run the hull two miles to see my new cousin. Nancy was lying thar in a pole bed, luking purdy happy. You bet I was tickled to death. Babies wasn't as plentiful as blackberries in the woods o' Kentucky."

(7) For every argument you can find against Mary Lincoln, you can equally find another one to counter it. She came from an educated family, politically involved, and she may well have been an impetus in his moving forward in politics. She could also be a political liability with her rich tastes, queenly manner and unleashed temper. Their last day together, after he had finished his work, the Lincoln's went for a carriage ride out into the countryside, and apparently it was a happy memory for Mary as they laughed and speculated about their future together. Historians haven't been kind to her. My feeling is, who ever really knows what goes on behind closed doors between a husband and a wife?

(8) Grace married at seventeen and moved to Delphos, Kansas where she raised children, lived a full life and died at age 88. Her original letter to Lincoln is part of the Burton Historical Collection at the Detroit Public Library in Michigan. Lincoln's response to her is owned by a private collector who wishes to remain anonymous.

(9) There is further sadness tied to Clara Harris and Henry Rathbone. They ultimately did marry, moved to Germany and raised a family. Years later, Henry murdered Clara and was committed to an asylum for the criminally insane where he died.

(10) Julia was a woman of gentle demeanor and in dealing with Mrs. Lincoln, a possessor of diplomatic skills. She also had crossed eyes which, it is said, Grant dissuaded her from correcting as he "adored her just as she is."

(11) They may well have had a legitimate desire to see their children that weekend. There may have been another discussion going on at home when the news of Lincoln's request arrived. It's an amusing speculation to picture them rifling through Grant's desk, trying to find that train schedule they just know he has somewhere.

(12) I accept this as human nature. Ford's Theatre was left in shreds that night. People were ripping off and running away with anything they could get their hands on. The red paper was pulled from the walls, furniture was smashed, items of Lincoln's clothing stolen, all to become future reliquaries on some Victorian mantle. It is moments like this, and they still occur, when I realize we have not come very far in the course of civilization.

(13) Lilacs grow in Washington, but only with a lot of fussing over them. We have a lot of humidity, and they tend to suffer from mildew and blight issues that they don't encounter in the New England states, where they flourish. I've tried many times to keep lilac bushes going, without much success. When I am in New England in the spring, I treasure the many lilacs that I see. They do have the most wonderful scent and delicate blossoms.

(14) I had blog readers JCD and Cuff both bring up the Walt Whitman poem, "When Lilacs Last in the Door-yard Bloom'd," from Leaves of Grass. It is a lengthy poem that begins:

When lilacs last in the door-yard bloom'd,
And the great star early droop'd in the western sky of night,
I mourn'd--and yet shall mourn with ever-returning spring.

O ever-returning spring! trinity sure to me you bring;
Lilac blooming perennial, and drooping star in the west,
And thought of him I love.

O powerful, western, fallen star!
O shades of night! O moody, tearful night!
O great star disappear'd! O the black murk that hides the star!
O cruel hands that hold me powerless! O helpless soul of me!
O harsh surrounding cloud, that will not free my soul!

In the door-yard fronting an old farm-house, near the white-wash'd palings,
Stands the lilac bush, tall-growing, with heart-shaped leaves of rich green,
With many a pointed blossom, rising, delicate, with the perfume strong I love,
With every leaf a miracle.....and from this bush in the door-yard,
With delicate-color'd blossoms, and heart-shaped leaves of rich green,
A sprig, with its flower, I break.

Whitman goes on for many more lines about his love of this country, and Lincoln (not named) and the Civil War and war's comrades compared to lilacs and he closes with these lines:

Yet each I keep, and all, retrievements out of the night;
The song, the wonderous chant of the gray-brown bird,
And the tallying chant, the echo arous'd in my soul,
With the lustrous and drooping star, with the countenance full of woe,
With the lilac tall, and it's blossoms of mastering odor;
With the holders in my hand, nearing the call of the bird,
Comrades mine, and I in the midst, and their memory ever I keep
For the dead I loved so well;
For the sweetest, wisest soul of all my days and lands--and this for his dear sake;
Lilac and star and bird, twined with the chant of my soul,
There in the fragrant pines, and the cedars dusk and dim."

Thank you again JCD and Cuff for bringing this up in your comments. The poem can be found on this Leaves of Grass website. It is Poem 192: Whitman, Walt. 1900. Leaves of Grass

(15) A barefoot Lincoln is not that farfetched. He had a terrible time being fitted for boots, with his narrow foot and size 14 (by today's standards) shoes. Often, he was seen in the White House, much to his wife's dismay, wearing old slippers or, on occasion, barefoot. The Lincoln's spoke about where they might like to live after he left office. She most definitely wanted to live in Chicago, near the water. He thought about returning to Springfield, but it is said what he really wanted to do was to move to California. I like that thought: Lincoln having lived across the land, ending his days with his feet in the sand and surf, staring out at the ocean.